After The Dance
by KTock
Summary: Starts the morning after the dance with Kate and Caroline waking up. The Characters do not belong to me. They are Sally Wainwright's and always will be. God bless and thank you.
1. Chapter 1

Caroline felt the sunlight on her face. She could hear the morning sounds of the countryside. She felt a movement in the soft white linen next to her and opened her eyes slowly. In her heart she knew she hadn't been dreaming when she danced and passionately kissed Kate the night before. She felt the warmth against her skin under the covers, reflecting the feeling in her heart. The sensuous bare shoulder of Kate lay before her as she curved around Kate's back.

She snuggled in closer to Kate, smiling to herself. She had the best Christmas present anyone could wish for, right here, now. No wrapping or bows to make it somehow prettier. Kate was just beautiful.

Kate turned over to face Caroline. It was getting more difficult as her belly grew. There weren't many positions she could lay in now without feeling uncomfortable. Sex was also technically difficult but they'd managed.

Then it happened. A small kick out from her bump which made her and Caroline smile simultaneously.

Caroline moved her hand on to Kate's tummy, gently stroking her. "Morning little one".

Kate smiled and stroked Caroline's face. "Did you sleep well?"

Caroline gazed into Kate's eyes. "Mmmmm. Did you?"

"On and off. I was just thinking about dancing with you again."

Caroline smiled at Kate. "I don't think Alan's heart would take a repeat of last night. And maybe Lawrence would actually die of embarrassment."

Kate laughed at the memory of Lawrence's comments to them when they finished dancing.

"Okay! So when I said you need to stop kidding yourself mum and you look like a hypocrite. I didn't mean snog your girlfriends face off in front of everyone!"

Caroline laughed at the memory. "He'd obviously had too much Champagne."

Kate moved a strand of Caroline's hair out of her eyes. "You know he was so sweet when he stayed over at mine the night we couldn't find you."

"Really? I thought he wasn't nice to you."

"Oh god no. He asked me if I loved you and he asked me why we weren't together. He told me you were boring to live with lately."

"What ... What did you say to him?"

"Well... I told him I did love you and that it was... Well ... complicated. He then asked me why. I said ... we both wanted ... well, different things."

Caroline felt her heart lurch at Kate's words. "Kate. I know I'm an arrogant, stiff, self-centred bitch but I've only ever wanted you. I realise now that you have needs and wants too and in the past I just ignored them. I promise I won't ignore your needs again."

Kate smiled at Caroline and herself analysis. "I've not been very considerate with you either Caroline. We've both been very stubborn with our own needs. I wanted this ... our baby, so much I became frightened at the thought of missing my one real chance. Greg was the chance but I realise it must have been hard for you. I asked myself how I would feel if you went off with a man, who was a stranger to me."

Kate, I... I can't lie... look the thought of you and Greg really hurt me inside. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew why and I understood the desire and the need you had. ... I just felt pushed aside, like you'd chosen him over me. I realise now that it was really not about him but simply your desire to be a mother. I took being a mum for granted. I just thought how I would be without William and Lawrence and I realised I would just be empty."

Kate smiled and kissed Caroline gently. "How do you feel now about being a mum again?"

Caroline smiled. "Terrified ... Apprehensive ... Proud... Happy ... excited!"

Caroline kissed Kate again and smiled as she stared lovingly into her eyes. "God I've missed you so much. You are so beautiful. I'm sorry I was such a jerk on your birthday. Look what I missed."

Kate laughed. "So you would have danced with me on my birthday and snogged my face off in front of everyone!"

"Well... Maybe not the snogging part. They'd probably have thrown us out without a wedding to cover it!"

"Is that a proposal?"

Caroline smiled, "The divorce papers came through last Friday!"


	2. Chapter 2 Out For Breakfast

Caroline stood for a while letting the hot steaming water cascade down her face. Eyes closed, she didn't want to move from the warmth and heat of the shower. She felt her hand being held and opened her eyes to see Kate naked, in bloom and beautiful. She wrapped her arms around Kate's back mirroring their dance the night before.

"Hello."

"Hi. You look beautiful."

Kate frowned, "I don't feel beautiful. I feel like a beached Whale and frumpy."

Caroline smiled. "Its just your hormones. I remember my hormones running riot. Carrying Lawrence was the worst. One minute happy and the next crying for no reason. Kate, you are extremely beautiful and very sexy."

Kate laughed. "You're kidding. I don't feel very sexy."

"How do you really feel Kate?" Caroline wanted reassurance and security. She was losing the house she loved, William had left home and her mother was looking to leave too. Everything was changing around her. She was in the middle and she wasn't in control.

"I feel scared, happy, apprehensive, hopeful and secure too. How do you feel Caroline?"

"Oh god. Where do I start? I'm all over the place."

Kate frowned. "What's wrong Caroline?"

"Nothing. Everything." Caroline smiled at Kate not wanting to spoil things. She kissed Kate gently on the lips. "Come on let's get dressed and get some breakfast."

Caroline took hold of Kate's hand as they left their room. She paused at the top of the stairs and turned to Kate. "I feel very emotional Kate. I'm so happy that you're pregnant and your deepest wish has come true. You look so radiant and happy. I want to be with you and share in that. I'm also frightened of facing the world together with you and all that attention. I don't want anything to spoil it. I don't want to lose you again."

Kate smiled back at Caroline. "I'm not going anywhere Caroline... I want us to be a family... The five of us... You, me, William, Lawrence and our baby." Kate kissed Caroline on the lips and they descended the stairs smiling.

"Are you ready to face the world together?" Caroline whispered as they passed through the reception to the dining room.

"I can cope with the world. It's just your mother I'm bothered about."

Caroline laughed as they walked into the dining room full of people. They were greeted by the sight of tables full, mostly of the wedding guests. Caroline blushed at the clapping and wolf whistles aimed at them both. She turned to Kate who was smiling and blushing too.

Caroline held both palms up in surrender. "Alright everyone shows over. Merry Christmas." She turned back to Kate and pulled her into a gentle hug.


	3. Chapter 3 More Practice

Caroline and Kate were sitting at a small table together. They had ordered a breakfast of toast and tea and were waiting. Caroline looked out the window at the beautiful blue sky and smiled. She wished it had been this way back on Kate's birthday. It was so perfect. She felt Kate take hold of her hand which was resting on the table.

"Caroline. Are you okay?"

"Mmmmm. Yeah." Caroline turned to face Kate who looked happy. "Are you happy Kate?"

"Yes. Very." Kate felt Caroline's hand stroking her own and looked down.

"Do you have plans for later? Would you like to join us for Christmas dinner?"

"Well... I would love to but I promised my mum I would go to hers. And I kind of don't want to let her down." Kate saw that Caroline looked disappointed. "I could come over later in the evening?"

Caroline smiled. "That would be really nice. Will you stay over for the night?"

"If you're sure." Kate didn't want to make any assumptions. "Are you cooking Christmas dinner for everyone?"

"Well not everyone. Just Celia, Alan, Lawrence, William. Oooooo and Roxy, William's new girlfriend."

Kate looked at Caroline. "Are you sure you don't mind me coming over? I imagine you'll be shattered after that."

"I don't care. I just want to see you and I'd be very disappointed if you didn't. Besides the deal is; I cook and they clean up after!" Caroline looked around before leaning in to Kate, "I've really missed waking up next to you."

Kate felt herself blush and decided to distract things. "What time?"

"Anytime you like." Caroline smiled as she gazed into Kate's eyes. She couldn't believe how things were now after they had looked so bleak. Her whole outlook had changed to polar opposites. She was now looking forward to the New Year rather than dreading a lonely night in on her own with a bottle for company. She had felt herself slipping into John's lifestyle and it worried her immensely. But that was then. "Maybe next year we can have your mother over too?"

Kate smiled. "She'd really like that. She's desperate to meet you."

Caroline blushed. "Really? I thought she'd hate me after the way I treated her daughter!"

Kate hesitated not sure whether it was a good idea. "Caroline. I know I'm being cheeky but you could come and pick me up later? You could meet mum at the same time?"

Caroline hesitated not wanting to disappoint but not really sure she could face it just yet. "Do you mind if we do it another time? It's just it will be a mad afternoon and I'm not sure I can face it without a glass of wine or two!"

Caroline watched Kate's face to check she was okay. Not really sure of the impact her request had she tried again. "How about we take her out for dinner one night later in the week? That way we can chat and get to know each other before the little one arrives?"

Kate smiled again, "That would be really nice. She loves going out and getting dressed up."

Their breakfasts arrived and they both jumped straight in, hungry from their emotional roller coaster the day before and their energetic night of love.

Caroline and Kate walked together into the car park. Caroline saw Kate's car parked next to hers. Caroline placed her bags inside her car and turned to Kate. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kate looked puzzled.

"For giving me another chance. Forgiveness and for the best night I've ever had."

Kate smiled and reached in kissing Caroline on the lips briefly. "Thank you. I was half expecting you to turn me down."

Lawrence interupted them. "Get a room you two."

Lawrence and Angus came walking up to them. Angus said hello not really sure what to call Miss Mckenzie and Dr Elliot.

Kate and Caroline blushed at the two boys faces knowing that they had seen everything and they were forever changed.

Angus smiled and turned. "Merry Christmas Miss Mckenzie. See you next year. I'm looking forward to Choir practice!"

"Thanks Angus. Merry Christmas to you too. "

Lawrence then asked his mum, "Can I stay at Angus' house tonight? His mum has said she will collect us. We've got a rugby match tomorrow and he lives closer to school."

"On Boxing Day? Rugby? ... Yeah of course as long as you behave."

"Thanks mum."

"Okay. Now get in the car while I say goodbye to Kate."

Both boys groaned and Lawrence joked, "No kissing. I've just had my breakfast!"

Caroline laughed, "What else?"

Lawrence had a big grin on his face, "No kissing please!"

Caroline laughed and turned to Kate. "He asked so nicely as well!" She hugged Kate bringing her in close not wanting the time to end.

Kate saw two faces looking through the car window. "We're being watched."

Caroline took Kate's chin in her hand and pulled her lips closer for a kiss. "Ignore them. Just young adolescence boys. They'll get used to it in time!"

Caroline released Kate allowing her to put her bag in her car. She turned to Angus and Lawrence and pulled her tongue out at them.

Lawrence leaned out the window. "If you two carry on like that were going to start scoring you with marks out of ten!"

Caroline laughed and got in her car and pulled out closely followed by Kate. Kate followed Caroline's car down the drive. She then saw Angus and Lawrence holding up two pieces of paper in the back window. Much to Kate's amusement they both contained a crude drawing of the number 5!

Kate laughed to herself. "Oh well. More practice required!"


	4. Still Practicing Chapter 4

Caroline served up the Christmas lunch and she and Celia found they were doing the table clearing and washing up. She actually didn't mind she'd really enjoyed the dinner with everyone around. Alan had retired to the living room with Angus, Lawrence, William and Roxy. She thought about next year when she would have Christmas dinner with Kate and their little girl. She'd need a bigger table for her expanding family.

"So, I guess you and Kate are back on then!" Celia made a statement and not a question and Caroline chose not to respond.

"It was quite a show you two made last night. Everyone was watching you." Again Celia was making statements and not asking for a reply.

Caroline stopped wiping down the kitchen top and looked across at her mother. "Mum. Yes Kate and I are back together... As for the show. I really couldn't care less what everyone thought, said or did. It was the most enjoyable dance I've ever had with anyone. If that causes embarrassment then tough."

She carried on wiping down the top and cleaning out the sink. She felt upset inside that her love for Kate was not just accepted the way her mum's love for Alan was. She didn't want a caustic reply from her mother and didn't seek one out.

Celia looked at her daughter. "Well you do seem much brighter today. And I was worried about you... I still am worried... Caroline you're going to have a baby at 46!"

"Yes. I'm well aware of that." Caroline stopped herself. She'd snapped but didn't mean to.

"Mum please be happy for me. I want to be with Kate and our new baby. I'm fed up of having to justify it to people. I split with Kate because I was trying to make sure I didn't upset or displease anyone. I failed on that part with everyone and I lost Kate too. I've been miserable without her and now I feel so happy. I'm not ruining it again. So what people think is not something I care for anymore. Lawrence told me everyone knew at work so I was just kidding myself. I want you to be happy for me mum... For the both of us ...for your new soon to be granddaughter."

"Oh. It's a girl then?"

Caroline nearly kicked herself. Shit she did it. "Yes. But please don't tell anyone. We didn't want anyone to know until she's born." Caroline smiled at the thought.

"Well you look much happier talking about it now than you did before. You seem much more sure now. When is she due then?"

Caroline smiled at her mum. "I love you mum. She's due in another 4 weeks."

They doorbell interupted them. "Ooo. That will be Kate. She's staying over tonight."

Caroline walked towards the hall but Lawrence got there first. "Mum. It's Kate."

Caroline passed Lawrence in the hallway and went to great Kate. Lawrence smiled and winked at Kate "You need much more practice by the way!"

He went back into the sitting room leaving Caroline with a puzzled look on her face. "What?"

Kate laughed "I'll tell you later. Hello Celia."

"Hello love. Did you have a nice dinner?"

"Yes thank you. I spent it with my mum."

Celia went into the sitting room to find Alan fast asleep next to William and Roxy on the sofa. Lawrence and Angus were on the floor playing video games on the laptop computer. The news was on the TV. Celia was left with the chair in the window.

Caroline took Kate's bag and took it upstairs to her bedroom. She came back down to find the kitchen empty and no Kate. She walked in the sitting room to find her playing a video game against Lawrence. Much to Angus' amusement Kate was winning.

"Anyone want another drink?"

Celia got up. "I'll have a tea love and come and help you."

"Kate? What would you like to drink?"

Kate was engrossed in the game. "Just water please." It wasn't exactly what Caroline had in mind for their second night back together, but she was just happy to have Kate there.

"Can I have a beer mum?"

"No Lawrence. You've got a match tomorrow and we don't want you hung over again like last-time do we!"

Caroline looked at Angus who had a shy grin on his face. "Besides what time is your mum coming to pick you both up?"

"Any minute now. I rang her about half an hour ago."

"Have you packed your things in your bag Angus?" He nodded feeling like Dr Elliot was back in the room. "Has Lawrence packed his?"

Angus didn't answer. "I'll take that as a 'no' then. Lawrence upstairs and pack your bag and rugby kit before Angus' mum arrives."

"Mum. I'm catching Kate up."

"Tough. Angus can take over from you."

She pushed Lawrence gently along the hallway to the stairs. "Looks like you're the one who needs practice if Kate was winning!"

"Not really mum. It's you who needs the practice. Not me!" Caroline was confused again. She was about to walk in the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

She answered and found Felicity, Angus' mum at the door. "Hi. Please come in. Lawrence is just fetching his things. Thanks for allowing him to stay."

"Oh Dr Elliot. He's no bother. How was the wedding?"

"Please call me Caroline. It was just brilliant. Angus was a real gentleman. I'm sure he'll fill you in on his starring role. Would you like a drink whilst we wait for Lawrence?"

"Thank you but no. I've got a nice red waiting for me when we get back."

"Please go in the sitting room. Angus is trying to beat Kate on the video game. Excuse me whilst I go find Lawrence."

Kate looked up to see Felicity looking around the room. She had just beaten Angus who was laid on the floor accepting defeat. "Stick to singing Angus."

"I think I will. You know you're not bad for a girl miss Mckenzie."

"Angus. Please call me Kate outside of school."

"Sorry. I keep forgetting." Angus got up and went to hug his mum. "Hi mum. I'll just go get my bag."

Kate got up and went to great Felicity. "Hi its Felicity isn't it?"

"Yes. You're Miss Mckenzie. Languages right?"

"Yes. That's right. I also do music and the Choir."

Felicity noticed Kate's bump. "Oooo congratulations. When are you due?"

Kate beamed with joy. "About another 4 weeks if all goes to plan."

Felicity looked around the room and turned back to Kate. "Who's the happy father?"

Before Kate could answer, Angus moved in, "Come on mum. Time to go." He turned to Kate and mouthed, 'Sorry'.

Kate smiled and nodded. She was then joined by Caroline and Lawrence. They all walked to the front door. Kate and Caroline stood and saw them off. "Good luck tomorrow."

Lawrence smiled. "Thanks mum. Keep up the practice! Bye Kate."

Caroline closed the door as the car drive off. "What is Lawrence talking about all this practice business?"

Kate laughed. "He's talking about this." She pulled Caroline's chin in and kissed her lips gently taking in her desire. Caroline melted enjoying the moment.


	5. Chapter 5 A Little Something

"Oh there you ..." Celia cleared her throat loudly at the site of Caroline and Kate kissing in the hall.

Caroline stopped kissing Kate and turned to her mother. "Oooo tea. Thanks mum. You're a star." Caroline held on to Kate's hand and squeezed it. She turned back to Kate who noticed a huge grin on Caroline's face.

Celia stood with a mug of tea in both hands with her mouth gaping open. "These are for Alan and me... Yours are in the kitchen ..."

Celia walked towards the sitting room before calling back out. "That is if you've got time to drink them between eating each other's faces!"

Caroline and Kate stifled their laughs just long enough to close the kitchen door before losing it completely.

When they had managed to calm down Kate took a seat at the breakfast table. "You're doing this to deliberately wind your mother up aren't you?"

Caroline grinned but didn't answer Kate straight away. She took a seat opposite Kate. "I'm just enjoying having you in my life again. I'm feeling ... free now. Besides you still haven't explained what Lawrence was referring to when he told you to keep practicing?"

Kate laughed this time. She relayed the antics of Lawrence and Angus in the back of her car the day before.

Caroline laughed. "The little bugger. The cheeky..." She looked down at her tea and then spoke quietly whilst blushing. "I thought you were better than a 5!"

Kate smiled. "That's a real pity. I was enjoying the practice!"

Caroline smiled. "We'll have plenty of time for that later! Come on let's join the family. We're being terribly antisocial in here."

Caroline went around the counter to Kate's side. She took Kate's hand and they walked into the sitting room. To her surprise only Celia and Alan were left. "Where's William?"

Celia looked up. "He and Roxy have gone up to bed. He looked shattered bless him."

Caroline looked at Alan who was still asleep on the sofa. "It was a beautiful day yesterday mum. But a late night. Alan looks like he had a good time."

Celia looked at Alan and smiled. "Yes it was love. He wasn't the only one! I think we're both ready for bed." Celia winked at Caroline and woke Alan. Caroline couldn't believe her mother was getting smutty playing her at her own game.

Caroline's thoughts were interrupted by Alan. "Thank you for a lovely dinner love." Alan smiled at Caroline. He kissed her on the cheek and followed suit with Kate. "Goodnight!"

Celia looked at Caroline. "Thanks love. See you tomorrow. Night Kate."

Caroline turned to Kate. "Come here. Have a seat. I'd like to give something to you and I wanted to wait until we were alone."

Kate took a seat on the sofa next to Caroline and moved up closer. She stifled a yawn; the ups and downs of the last few days had taken their toll. Her feet were swelling too.

Caroline passed a small box covered in gold paper to Kate. It had gold ribbon wrapped around with a gold bow. The small heart-shaped card attached simply stated. 'For Kate. My sweet and beautiful love. Caroline x'. "Merry Christmas."

Kate unwrapped the box carefully to find a purple velvet covered box. She smiled and looked up at Caroline. She smiled back.

Kate opened the box and gasped. "Oh Caroline it's beautiful."

Kate took out a fine rolled rope gold chain which had a heart-shaped pendant attached, which was made of a single long piece of gold sculptured into a heart. It was simple but very elegant.

Caroline took the chain from Kate and placed it around Kate's elegant neck. She fastened the clasp and then straightened it. "Do you like it?"

Kate smiled. "It's beautiful Caroline. Thank you. "Kate leaned into Caroline and gave her a kiss. "I have a little something for you upstairs."

Caroline gazed into Kate's eyes loving the joy on her face. "You shouldn't have."

"I just saw them and thought of you. I hope you like them." Kate looked worried.

Caroline took Kate by the hand and lead her upstairs to her bedroom. Caroline changed first. She helped Kate undress and kissed her bare shoulder. Kate smiled. "Get into bed and close your eyes."

Caroline obeyed. Kate placed a small wrapped package into Caroline's hand. It was similar in size to Kate's present. Caroline opened her eyes. The wrapping was silver with tiny hearts embossed in the paper. The card read. 'Caroline. With all my love. Kate xx'

Caroline opened the paper to find a brown leather box; she opened the box and saw a pearl teardrop pendant on a gold chain and matching ear-rings. "Oh Kate. They're beautiful. Thank you. I'll wear them for work."

Kate snuggled into Caroline who kissed her passionately. They were interrupted by Caroline's mobile indicating a text message. Caroline checked the phone. She laughed. "It's Lawrence the little bugger!' ARE YOU STILL PRACTICING?' "L X


	6. Chapter 6 - Whats in a Name

Caroline threw her phone into her handbag on the floor. She looked into Kate's eyes with love and adoration. She looked back into the box and took the necklace out. Kate took it from her . Caroline lifted her hair up exposing her neck and Kate placed the necklace around her and fastened the clasp. Her hands were shaking in anticipation. The pearl rested in the spot between Caroline's cleavage and Kate glanced at it.

Caroline felt the pearl with her fingers and a huge smile formed on her face. She took the ear-rings out the box and put them in her ears. Kate's smile widened at Caroline's pale bejewelled naked body before her. Her heart skipped and she felt a kick in her tummy. She giggled "Oooo. Baby approves too."

Caroline placed her hand on Kate's tummy. "She's saying hello and Merry Christmas to her mummies!" Caroline felt her kick again. "Hello little one."

Kate felt so proud. Caroline had said 'her mummies'. She couldn't believe how the sadness she had felt in the last few months and the worry of not having Caroline around when the baby would be born had changed to this. She had everything she needed in the world. A gorgeous and loving girlfriend and the anticipated arrival of her first child finally making her a mother.

"So?" Caroline looked at Kate. "What are we going to call her? We can't call her little one when she's born. Have you thought of any names?"

Kate smiled. "A few. Grace, Helena, Jessica, Rose. Ooooo and Hannah."

Caroline laid on her back thinking about the names. "I like Grace and Helena."

"How about both? Helena Grace McKenzie-Elliot?" Kate saw that Caroline had a frown on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Well. Elliot is my married name which I got from John. I was thinking of changing it back to Dawson."

"Oh okay. Well... How about Helena Grace Mckenzie-Dawson?"

Caroline screwed her face up. "It doesn't have the same ring about it ... And the boy's names are both Elliot. So maybe we should stick with Elliot?"

Kate stroked Caroline's cheek. "Well we don't have to decide just yet. But Helena Grace it will be!"

Caroline laid on her back looking up at Kate and whispered, "Come here."

Kate was about to place a kiss on the pearl resting against Caroline's heart when Caroline's phone pinged again indicating another text message.

Caroline whispered. "Ignore it. I'm going to kill Lawrence tomorrow! But right now we need to practice for when we go watch him play rugby tomorrow!"

Kate burst out laughing. "You wouldn't dare! Not in front of Michael 'bloody' Dobson!"


	7. Chapter 7 - A Change is Gonna Come

Caroline woke feeling content with a life. She'd had the kind of fulfilling sleep that only happens once in a while. She felt rested and ready to face the world! Rugby match here we come.

Caroline was facing away from Kate on the edge of the bed. She turned over to find Kate was missing. She looked across to the door of the en-suite and realised it was closed when it had been left open last night. She got out of bed and grabbed her gown from the back of the door to cover her modesty.

"Kate?" Caroline called out a little worried. As she opened the bathroom door her knees give way. Kate was laying on the floor next to the toilet and blood between her legs. She was half wrapped in her dressing gown.

Caroline raced forward, half crawling to take hold of her lover. She held her in her arms and shook her several times. "Kate! Kate! ... Please Kate. Wake up!"

Tears fell down Caroline's cheeks. She ran back into the bedroom looking for her phone. 'Where the hell was it.' "William!" She began shouting for her son. Frantically she searched for her phone. "William! Help!"

At that moment her eldest came rushing into her room. "Mum? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He saw Caroline's tear streaked face.

"It's Kate. I can't wake her. Shes in the bathroom. Ring an ambulance quickly. I can't find my phone."

William ran to his room and grabbed his mobile. He rang 999 and ran back into his mum's room. "Ambulance please!"

He turned into the en-suite to see his mum holding Kate and fear on her face. He couldn't hide the shock on his face as he saw Kate laying in blood.

The call connected straight away. "My... My...mum's...girlfriend. She's unconscious. We can't wake her. She's... pregnant and bleeding. God please hurry."

He looked up to see his mum cradling Kate, crying over her. "They're on their way mum."

"What shall I do?" William felt helpless.

Caroline regained herself. Headmistress mode kicked back in. "Get Roxy to go down to the front door and be ready to let the Ambulance in. Go fetch your gran and try not to worry Alan."

Caroline turned back to Kate. She stroked her face gently and tenderly. She whispered softly. "Please Kate. Wake up for me. I love you."

Kate then let out a soft groan. Caroline's heart jumped. "Kate! Oh god Kate. The ambulance is on its way. You're going to be fine." Caroline felt a small relief that Kate was responding. She wasn't really awake but she was there.

She heard heavy footsteps on the landing and heard Roxy. She then saw a man in green ambulance uniform carrying a large bag on his shoulder. "High I'm Dave. Who do we have here?"

"Kate. She's... my girlfriend. She's 8 months pregnant."

"Okay. What's your name?"

"Caroline."

"Okay Caroline. How long has Kate been like this? "

"I don't know. I just found her when I woke up." Tears rolled down Caroline's face. She felt it was her fault. She'd had a relaxing nights sleep and Kate was laying there for god knows how long.

"Right Caroline. It's okay. I'm just going to place a monitor on Kate's chest to listen to her heart. Has she got any allergies?"

"She has a peanut allergy. She's had 3 miscarriages in the past."

"How recent were her miscarriages?"

"I'm not sure. It was before we met." Caroline began to cry again. She felt so inadequate.

"Caroline. Listen to me. I need you to keep talking to Kate. Its looking like she's passed out. We're gonna take her in because I think your baby is on the way." He smiled after he said the last sentence and placed a reassuring hand on Caroline's shoulder. Caroline smiled at his comment. Her baby.

Caroline watched as the Ambulance man placed an oxygen mask over Kate's face. Caroline heard the bleeping of Kate's heart on the monitor which made her smile.

"Caroline. If you're coming with us you need to get some clothes on. Otherwise you'll get some funny looks in the hospital!"

It was then that Caroline saw her dressing gown had fallen open showing her amble bussom. Caroline laughed with relief more than anything.

"Right... I... I'll get some clothes on." She grabbed her clothes from the day before off the back of the chair. She threw on her Jean's, bra, vest top and cotton shirt. She quickly pulled her hair up into a grip. She was interrupted mid thought.

"Mum, are you okay? How's Kate?" William came into the room as Caroline finished her hair. She grabbed him into a big hug. William reciprocated.

"I think the baby is on the way. He thinks Kate's passed out." She smiled again as she held William. She looked over his shoulder to see Roxy smile. She beckoned her over to them and Roxy joined the hug.

A second ambulance man carrying a chair interupted them. Dave called to Caroline. "Have you got a bag packed for Kate? Clothes, etc?"

"Er. Yes but not here. It's at Kate's house."

"It's okay we can sort that out later."

Caroline went quiet. "Is the... the baby...?"

"Baby is fine. There's a strong heart beat. I think Kate may have gone into labour and passed out. It can happen sometimes. "

Caroline smiled again. She heard Celia calling out her name. "Here mum!"

Celia came into the bedroom and they hugged. "How's Kate love?"

Caroline nodded that she was fine. Dave looked up at Celia. "Are you the lucky grandma?"

Before they could all see the pained reaction on Celia's face Kate let out a loud cry. All eyes turned to Kate. Caroline ran to her side. Kate let out another cry. "Caroline!"

Kate had pulled her mask off. She was looking around in a panic. Caroline reassured her. "I'm here Kate. It's okay."

Kate's face was etched with pain. She looked at Caroline. "Oh god Caroline the contractions are coming! She's on her way!" Kate let out a loud cry.

Dave sat watching. He was timing the contractions and observing Kate closely. "Kate. I need you to do your breathing exercises. Don't push just yet. Right Caroline. Can you get some towels?"

Caroline looked puzzled. "Is she...?"

Dave smiled. "Baby's on her way now! We aren't going to make it to hospital."


	8. Chapter 8 No More Practicing Required

Caroline's face was a mixture of shock and steely determination. Her mind ran wild. I can do this. I run a bloody school. She looked up at William and he smiled. "I'll get the towels mum!"

Caroline smiled at her beautiful supportive son. He had been behind her all the way with Kate. Never judging, always having kind words of support. She loved him so much. After her dance with Kate at the wedding he had gone to her with a huge hug and whispered to her. "Does this mean I'm going to have a baby sister soon?"

Caroline was shaken from her thoughts by Dave, the Paramedic. "Right Caroline. I think Kate would be more comfortable on the bed."

Caroline faced Kate and then back to Dave. "Right okay."

"Okay Kate. Do you think you can make it to the bed with Caroline's help?" The Paramedic smiled at Kate.

Kate nodded and smiled back at the kind man's face. Caroline helped Kate to her feet. She wrapped her dressing gown around her body and looked in Kate's face. "Okay?"

Kate nodded with a half-smile on her face. Kate reached the bed just in time for another contraction to hit her. She cried out in pain. Caroline helped her lay on the bed. William gave his mum the towels.

Celia grabbed William and Roxy. "Come on you two. Let's give them some privacy. How about I make you a cup of tea?"

"Thanks Gran." William looked at his mum who smiled and mouthed thank you. He followed Celia and Roxy down the stairs.

Caroline helped Kate by reminding her of her breathing exercises. Kate tried hard to breathe through the pain. She squeezed Caroline's hand. She couldn't help but feel frightened. Her baby wasn't due for quite some time and she'd had her problems in the past. Her concern showed on her face and Caroline had seen it too.

Dave turned to Caroline. "How do you feel about delivering your baby?"

Caroline felt shocked. Oh my god. Her head was running away with her. What if ..things go wrong. Kate had suffered miscarriages and complications and she didn't know if she was prepared to risk it. She questioned herself, what if I can't do it. She'd had given birth twice but hadn't been in John's place. It felt really strange but warmly emotional and overwhelming. "Well... Er... I'm, I'm not sure really."

Dave smiled. "I'll help you through it. I'll be right here. I don't think Kate would want me to deliver her, do you?"

Kate was recovering from her last contraction. Her head was covered in perspiration. She looked at Caroline. The only words she could get out between breaths was, "Caroline please?"

Caroline looked at Kate's pleading expression. She squeezed Kate's hand and then looked back at Dave. "Okay. What do I do?"

Dave explained to Kate and Caroline what they were to do. He knelt to the side of the bed letting Caroline kneel between Kate's legs. It all then started as if Helena had been waiting for her mum's-to-be ready. Helena Grace was on the way!

Kate was pushing with all her might and then she heard the cries of her baby as well as Caroline cheering and crying at the same time. "She's beautiful Kate!"

Caroline held Helena in her arms whilst Dave set to work with the cord. Helena's cries seemed to still when Caroline held her. She beamed with pride.

Caroline then got up and moved up to Kate bringing their beautiful daughter wrapped in a towel with her. Kate took her in her arms and began to cry. She looked at Caroline who then stroked her cheek. Helena was beautiful with olive skin and big brown eyes. Helena began to cry again.

Kate pulled Caroline to her and kissed her tenderly. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at Helena and then at Caroline. "Thank you. I'm so glad you're here."

Dave got up and left the room to speak with his colleague leaving Caroline and Kate with Helena and some privacy. Caroline couldn't stop smiling at Kate and their daughter. She was overjoyed. "You look exhausted. I think they'll want to take you both to hospital to check you out."

Caroline heard her mobile phone chime indicating a text message. "Oh my god. It will be Lawrence. He's playing Rugby!"

Kate smiled at Caroline. "I don't think we need to practice anymore. Do you?"

Caroline burst out laughing. She looked at Helena and in a baby voice said to her, "Your big brother is a cheeky little minx!"


	9. Chapter 9 - Proud Grannies

Kate smiled. "Caroline. Will you come with us to the hospital? I want you to be there." Caroline nodded. "Of course."

"Will you ... Will you ring my mum please?

"Yeah sure. Is her number in your phone?"

Kate nodded. Caroline found Kate's bag and her phone. She found the entry 'mum' and pressed the screen before she realised she didn't know her name! "What's her ...?"

Kate interrupted and smiled, "It's Grace!"

"Hello Grace?... No Grace, it's Caroline, Kate's fr ... Girlfriend." Caroline looked at Kate whilst talking with her mother. She was conscious of not having met her mum when Kate had been exposed to Celia's judgements for some time. She vowed to correct this and invite her over for dinner. Caroline passed the phone to Kate.

Dave came back into the room. "Caroline. We're going to have to take them both in to check them over. Would you be able to get Kate's bag and bring it to the hospital?"

"Yeah. Sure, no problem."

Caroline had waved Kate off in the ambulance, got a quick shower and changed. She met her mother in the kitchen as she was about to leave. "Are you alright love?"

"Yes mum. Are you?"

Celia looked at her daughter with concerned eyes. "I'm just worried about you that's all. I can't help worrying about you. I want you to be happy. After everything John put you through."

Caroline took a deep breath. She smiled. "Mum. I am happy. You have Alan who is the love of your life. I can see it in your face. Even when you're scowling! I have Kate and now we have Helena. Can't you see how happy I am?"

"I suppose. If you're sure?"

"I am very sure. I knew it from the moment Kate and I danced at your wedding. There had been something missing and I was completely lost. I found it that night and I'm not going to lose it ever again."

Caroline kissed her mum and walked out the door to her car. She drove over to Kate's to collect her baby bag and then on to pick up a special someone.

Caroline arrived in the hospital car park and retrieved Kate's bag from the back of the car. She then helped Grace, Kate's mum get out of the passenger seat.

Grace was a portly woman in her late sixties with a round happy smiling face. She had Kate's eyes and her mouth. Her cuddly figure showed she was a good cook. Kate described her visits to her ancestral home back in Nigeria when her gran and mum would cook for over twenty extended smiley members who would travel from all over Nigeria. There would be food, singing and dancing and lots of drinking too.

"Thank you Caroline. Kate was right. You do have eyes as beautiful as sapphires." Grace smiled to herself.

Caroline blushed at Graces words. "I think Kate's biased."

"She also warned me that you cannot take a compliment. I see again she is right with this point. I don't understand this when you are so very beautiful." Grace smiled at Caroline.

Caroline laughed. She walked with Grace into the maternity ward. They approached the desk and Caroline spoke with the older nurse at the reception. "Hello, we're here to see Kate Mckenzie. She was brought in this morning."

The nurse smiled politely at Caroline and Grace. "Are you family?"

Caroline smiled. "Yes we are."

The nurse asked again with what Caroline now realised was a fake smile. "And what relation are you exactly?"

Caroline was about to tell the nurse it was none of her damn business when Grace stepped in. "Listen my dear. Kate is my most precious and beautiful daughter. The Lord gave her to me and I made a promise to watch over her. Helena is my most special granddaughter. God has given her to Kate and Caroline on this very day. I'm sure they will be making their own promises to god in time. Caroline here is the best and most gorgeous daughter in law a mother could ever wish for. She is also a Head Teacher of a very important private school who I'm told can strike fear in the bravest of men. So if you're not too busy asking all of these silly questions we'd like to see Kate and Helena please!"

Caroline looked down trying to hide her grin at Grace's retort at the nurse. Damn she had the sass to be out and proud for her. She looked up at the nurse and smiled. The nurses fake smile was back. "Follow me please."

Caroline found Kate in a ward of six beds. She was in the corner by the window. Helena was fast asleep in a cot at the side of the bed and Kate was sleeping too. Caroline had such pride and love in her eyes at the beautiful site of her Kate and Helena. Her heart was bursting with an overwhelming joy.

There was only one other bed occupied on the ward on the opposite side to Kate's. A woman with long dark hair lay asleep with a baby in the cot next to her. Her bed surrounded by cards telling Caroline he was a boy.

Caroline and Grace walked over to Kate's bed and Caroline looked into the cot at Helena. Grace stood next to Caroline with the biggest smile. "You have both made me a very proud woman. Thank you."

Caroline put Kate's bag down by the side of the bed and took a seat in the chair next to Kate. Caroline took hold of Kate's hand and kissed it gently trying not to wake her. Kate let out a moan, "Caroline."

Caroline whispered. "Shh Kate. I'm here with your mum."

Kate opened her eyes and smiled at her mum. "Love you mum." She then turned to Caroline. "I love you Caroline."

Caroline smiled at Kate. "I love you too Kate."

Caroline then heard a commotion from the reception desk down the hall. There were two familiar voices ringing out. One she knew and had known from the day she was born - her mother. The second she had only known a short while and already she disliked it.

Like Grace she could hear her mother giving the nurse some grief. "She's my bloomin' granddaughter thank you very much. Nonsense, I'm entitled to see her and I will, so go get your security guard to throw a poor defenceless seventy year old out. You'll only make yourself look more of a fool than you already do."

Caroline then watched her mother striding down the corridor towards her. She was carrying some flowers and a card. Celia noticed the sleeping babies and mouthed to Caroline. "The bloody cheek of her!"

Caroline smiled and Kate laughed. Caroline introduced Celia to Grace. Both women smiled politely and said hello to one another.

Celia stood opposite Caroline and Grace at the other side of the bed. "Hello Kate love. You gave us all a terrible fright earlier. Nice to see you're looking much better." She put the flowers on the side table and gave the card to Kate. Kate placed it on the bed for later.

"Caroline love. I brought you a flask of tea, a paper and a sandwich I made for you. I'm guessing you'll be staying a while. Alan and I will take care of Lawrence so don't worry."

"Thanks mum. I'll ring him later."

Celia looked into the cot. "She's very beautiful. But then again all babies are. Have you given her a name yet then? We can't go on calling her 'it'."

"Shall I? Caroline asked Kate who nodded. "Well. We've had lots of thoughts and we're pleased you're both here. We've decided on Helena Grace Celia McKenzie-Elliot."

Grace had a huge smile on her face. "That is so beautiful. You have given her our names. I'm sure Celia will agree when I say you have made us very proud grannies!"

Celia looked up at Caroline with a blank expression. Caroline asked Celia directly. "What do you think mum?"


	10. Chapter 10 - Reality Bites

Celia smiled at her daughter. "It's a lovely name." Celia looked down in the cot at Helena's sleepy face.

Kate smiled, "Do you want to hold her?"

"No love. She's fast asleep. I don't want to disturb her. They'll be plenty of time for that when you come home."

Celia looked at Caroline. "Well, I'll be getting off love. I just wanted to make sure you ...both of ... all of you, were okay." Celia looked at Kate who looked up. "You had me really worried for a time love but you look much better now."

Grace smiled too. "Celia. Could I please be cheeky and beg a lift home? I think they need some time alone and I'm afraid I do not drive."

"Yes. Yes. No problem Grace. We can have a little chat on the way back."

Grace gave Kate a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You rest up now my sweet. I think you are going to need all your energy with this one!" She took a sly look at Caroline and winked.

Caroline felt sure she had meant her and not Helena. She tried not to laugh out loud at her thoughts. The cheeky old loveable minx.

Grace turned to Caroline and hugged her too. She kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "If that nurse comes and starts to make trouble with you. Tell her I will find out where she lives and I will set my Rocky on her!"

Caroline laughed. "Thank you Grace."

Caroline watched as both women walked off down the corridor. Pleased they were getting along she smiled. It would be the women who would forge the links in the family to help it merge together when challenges came. Caroline knew they had some huge challenges ahead.

She turned to Kate after Grace's comments and mouthed, 'Rocky?' Kate smiled and said, "Her dog!"

Caroline smiled, "Rottweiler?"

Kate burst out laughing. "No, no, no. Yorkshire Terrier!"

Caroline let out a loud laugh and looked around trying to recover the composure. When she settled herself she turned to Kate more serious now that they were alone. She stroked her cheek and moved some hair from her face. "How are you feeling now?"

Kate smiled. "Happy, exhausted, battered and sore."

Caroline's face changed. "Kate we need to talk about when you and Helena come out of the hospital."

Kate smiled, "I know. We never really had chance to talk because Helena was in too much of a hurry to see us!" Caroline looked down. "What's the matter Caroline?"

"I don't want to sound selfish but I'd like it if we could all live together. The house is on the market and I'm sure it will sell. I'd like us to find somewhere together. Somewhere for all of us? How do you feel about that?"

Kate smiled. "I'd like that too. Very much but I don't think it will be a good idea to move in with you at yours with Helena. I don't want to cause Lawrence anymore problems. He's had a tough time and he's at an awkward age. Have you had chance to have a serious talk with him?"

Caroline looked sad, "No. Not since we ... You know."

Kate felt sad. "I'm sorry Caroline. I think we need to think things through before we jump in. I don't want to lose you again."

Kate held her arms out inviting Caroline to her. Caroline obliged and hugged her. "I don't want to rush things but I couldn't bear you being alone. I know I'll be at work during the day but I want to rush home to you and Helena."

Kate stroked Caroline's face. "Well my mum has said she will move in with me to begin with. That is until I get into a routine. After that we'll have to see. You need to sit down with Lawrence and have an honest talk. We can then sit down and figure out what we're going to do. I'd like us all to be together too. But I need to know it's the right way."


	11. Chapter 11 - Home Time

Caroline had stayed quite late with Kate and Helena, much to the disgust of the Ward Nurse who had been nicknamed 'Nurse Grim' by nearly all the visitors throughout the day. Caroline was entitled to stay as the co-parent in the same way father's had stayed with their wives and newborns. Nurse Grim had taken a dislike to Caroline and anyone linked with her. The fact that she hadn't challenged her on their first encounter, it was Grace, seemed to pass her by. Kate had felt cold so Caroline approached the desk to ask for another blanket for her and it was clear from the look on Nurse Grim's face that her request was unwelcome and not something she would have done were it not for her job description. Caroline took the blanket and couldn't help but give her a fake smile back with a cheery, 'Thank you dearie'!

As she drove home Caroline's thoughts returned to what would happen when Kate and Helena left the hospital. She couldn't move in with Kate without Lawrence. Kate's house wasn't big enough for them all. Kate moving back in with her at the house with Helena was going to be difficult while John was still around. Kate was right she needed to have a long chat with Lawrence but it was very late and she felt exhausted.

She smiled to herself because although she was very tired she was so very happy. She couldn't fathom why or how her feelings had changed towards Helena. She reasoned that it was probably down to holding Helena in her arms and she wanted Kate in her life no-matter what. The last few months had more than proved to her that life without Kate was a dark and hollow existence. She didn't want to go there again because the pain was unbearable.

She arrived home to find the house silent but competing with the Northern Lights. It appeared everyone had gone to bed and left every light on. She walked into the hallway, into the kitchen and found her mother in the dining room on the sofa asleep. She smiled at the site of Lawrence lying on his granny's shoulder snoring away.

Rather than shock her mother she gently nudged Lawrence on the shoulder to wake him. She whispered, "Lawrence."

He immediately stopped snoring and looked startled as if figuring out where he was. He rubbed his eyes and then reality struck. "Hi mum. How's Kate and the new baby?"

"Kate's fine and Helena is too. Thank you for asking Lawrence. How did your Rugby match go today?"

"We won mum. I wish you could have been there. I scored a try. It was brilliant." His face revealed he was so proud of his achievement. Caroline's heart tore. She so wished she had been there to witness his joy and his success. Anything he won was such an achievement. He wasn't as bright as William and she tried so hard not to let him believe it made her feel any less proud of him. She hugged him close. "I'm so proud of you. A try!"

"It was totally brilliant Mum."

"Lawrence. I'm sorry I missed it. We were going to come to watch you play but …. Well I guess you know what happened. I'm sorry love. I'll come to your next match." She took him in her arms and hugged him hoping he didn't feel the guilt she felt and the tugging in her heart.

"It's okay mum. I was worried about Kate and the baby. I guess it was a bit of a shock for you both."

Caroline smiled. She was taken aback by his genuine concern for her and Kate. She knew things had been difficult for him. He was still only coming to terms with his hormones raging around his body. Then his father left them which must have knocked his feelings out of kilter and then he finds out his mother is a raving Lesbian.

It wasn't the best of times to raise the subject of Helena but Caroline wanted to seize the moment. "Lawrence. How do you feel about Kate having a baby?"

Lawrence had a smile on his face. One that Caroline took as mischief. "Well, I'll admit mum. I was a bit shocked. I was pretty sure that the frogs in Biology were a boy and girl and not two girls! How… how did ….. You know…she ….?"

Caroline disarmed by his humour and his switch to asking a serious and curious question stumbled to answer. "Mmmmmm. She ….. Erm …. She had a friend, Greg from University who agreed to be a donor for her.

Lawrence had a confused look on his face. Then he looked enlightened. "Is that why you and Kate broke up before?"

Caroline felt a little embarrassed talking with her son about her personal life. It was one thing to chat with her mother or with Kate but her teenage son was different. "Yes. It was, but we're back together again now." Caroline smiled.

"Good. I'm glad."

Caroline was shocked at his reply. She always believed he didn't want Kate around and resented her affection for his mother. She was conscious of the attention she gave to him as well as Kate. At times she felt torn knowing that it was so hard for him. "You're glad? I thought you didn't like the idea of your mum being the only muff muncher in the village?"

Lawrence burst out laughing and woke his grandmother up. "Oops. Granny Godzilla's awake. I'm off to bed. Night mum."


	12. Chapter 12 - And Helena makes

Caroline couldn't believe she was sitting in the restaurant with Lawrence. She figured any 'chat' she planned to have with him would have to be on his terms. So she had taken the bull by the horns and asked him where he would want to go for something to eat. McDonald's was not what she had in mind! However, an agreement was just that and she stood by her word. She should have known what Lawrence would say when he clarified, "So you'll take me anywhere I choose".

She watched Lawrence's face, a huge smile, cheese dripping off his chin, holding a half-eaten Big Mac. Caroline couldn't hide her uncomfortable demeanour from Lawrence who seemed to revel in his mum's awkwardness. "You're absolutely loving this aren't you?" stated Caroline more as a fact than a question.

Lawrence laughed. "Mum, your face was priceless when I said McDonald's. I was actually being cheeky thinking you would never come here with me. I can't believe you're actually here. You know if my mates from school see you here your street cred will double overnight!"

Caroline smiled and looked down. "If you tell anyone at school that I took you to McDonald's I'll ground you for a month!"

Lawrence continued enjoying his Big Mac and then much to his mother's disgust said with his mouth half full, "I can handle being grounded just to see the look on my friend's faces when I tell them."

Caroline scowled, "Don't you dare, you little ….minx!"

Lawrence finished his current mouthful before making his statement. "So let me get this right. You couldn't care less now if everyone knows you and Kate are raving muff munchers but you don't want anyone to know you're a closet McDonald fan."

"I am not a McDonald's fan and never will be. So don't even think about telling anyone anything different. Besides you told me everyone knows about Kate and I at school and I can't be bothered hiding anymore!"

Lawrence smiled at his mum's new bravery. "You are much more fun when you and Kate are together."

Caroline smiled at her son. Despite his difficult start with accepting Kate he seemed to be coming round to the idea. "Does anyone cause you any problems at school?"

Lawrence frowned not quite understanding what his mother was asking.

Caroline saw his confused expression. "I mean with Kate and I. You said everyone knew so do they give you any grief about it?"

Lawrence thought about his reply. "To begin with some of the boys called me names but I ignored them. Angus sticks up for me. I don't get so much now."

Caroline's heart felt pain. Pain that she had caused her son's suffering and she hadn't thought about the pain he'd suffered. "What ….. What names do they call you?"

"Oh you know. If I drop the ball in Rugby they tell me 'I'm gay' or call me a 'puff'. The girls used to call me 'Dyke boy' for a time. I had comments about you scribbled on my books too."

Caroline noticed that Lawrence's earlier happiness had faded. His mood had changed with the memories. His face had dropped. The comments clearly had more of an effect than Lawrence let on.

"Lawrence. I'm sorry you had to endure that. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to suffer because of me. I know it must be hard being the Headmistress's son without them knowing I'm gay."

Lawrence didn't answer his mother. Caroline saw that she had hit the nail on the head. She felt like crying but didn't want Lawrence to see her upset. "Lawrence. How do you feel about Kate and me now? I mean how do you really feel?"

Lawrence looked up at his mum and saw the sadness in her eyes. "Mum. I don't like seeing you unhappy. You do know I could hear you crying in your room when I'd gone to bed? I guessed it was because you and Kate had ….. You know."

"Oh, Lawrence." Caroline grabbed him in a hug. She wiped away a tear from her own cheek. "You know I love you don't you?"

Lawrence hugged his mum back and then pulled away looking around to make sure no-one he knew had seen him.

"Lawrence. How would you feel if Kate and Helena moved in with us? I don't mean straight away but in a few months or so?"

Lawrence's face dropped. "I'm not keen on a crying baby or smelly nappies. Where's she going to sleep?" Lawrence saw his mum's face. "I mean the baby, Helena. Not Kate."

Caroline laughed at her misunderstanding. "Well she'll be sleeping with Kate and me in our room in a cot" Caroline hesitated before proceeding with her thoughts not sure how he would take the news. "When the house sells and your father and I finalise things, I'd like to find a house for us all. You, me, William, Kate and Helena, how would you feel?"

"Could you find one with an annexe for Helena to sleep in? You know like Granny and Alan." Lawrence smiled.

Caroline laughed at Lawrence's suggestion. She looked down at her burger which she hadn't really touched. Lawrence had polished his meal off and was looking at her unfinished meal with delight. Caroline pushed it to Lawrence, "Go on then."

"Thanks mum. We should do this more often."

Caroline looked at him and could see by the glint in his eye he was winding her up. "I think next time the venue will be my choice and not yours. But we will have time together though, just you and me. I mean without Kate and Helena. How does that sound?"

Lawrence smiled at his mum. "Great, but not a tea shop please?"

Caroline laughed. "Okay. You can't choose McDonald's anymore and I promise I won't take you to a tea shop, deal?"

"Fair enough it's a deal!"

The journey home with Lawrence was filled with Lawrence telling his mum about his antics in the Rugby match and how he had saved the day and won the team the game. Caroline let Lawrence enjoy his time to remember his achievements. She felt more settled now that she had chatted with him about her plans. She realised that she should have done this the first time round and thereby save everyone a lot of grief. But she couldn't turn the clocks back.

"Lawrence. Do you mind if I drop you off and go visit Kate and Helena in the hospital? I'll be back in time to sort something out for dinner. Although, you've already had lunch and dinner."

"Fine mum. Can we stop off at a shop? I'd like to get a card for Kate and Helena."

Caroline's heart jumped with pride and love. "Of course we can."

She took the chance of being alone to text Kate a message. She let her know she was planning on visiting and update her on her chat with Lawrence. She felt so proud

Lawrence interrupted her texts getting back into the car. "All done?"

"Yep, done."

Caroline followed Lawrence into the house instead of dropping him off. She went upstairs to change her clothes and freshen up. When she returned down to the kitchen Lawrence had left a card with Kate's name on it on the kitchen worktop. She heard the distinctive sound of a video game from the sitting room and knew Lawrence was back where he was most comfortable.

She popped her head through and said goodbye to Lawrence on the way out.

At the hospital Caroline was ready to face Nurse Grim head on. She walked down the corridor with purpose and with her shoulders back, freshly painted and Headmistress face on. She was surprised to see a young nurse on the desk. "Hi. I'm here to see Kate McKenzie?"

The nurse smiled and said, "You must be Caroline. Kate has told me all about you. I'm Louise. Congratulations, Helena is beautiful."

Caroline taken aback by the complete contrast to nurse Grim relaxed. "Thank you. She is but then I am biased."

The nurse smiled. "Kate's last visitor, Greg has just gone so she's free."

Caroline's heart wrenched at the mention of the name.


	13. Chapter 13 - Greg's Little Girl

Caroline had stopped off on the way to the hospital and bought Kate some flowers. As she approached Kate's bed she looked in to see Helena fast asleep in her cot. "She's just had a feed." Kate smiled and Caroline turned towards her presenting her card and the flowers.

Caroline's heart filled with pride for her beautiful girlfriend. "She is very beautiful Kate. Just like her mum."

Kate looking over with a concern smiled. "Caroline. Can we go for a walk? I'll get Louise to keep an eye on Helena."

"Yeah sure." Caroline tried to ready herself for what was to come. She took a deep breath before turning to Kate. "Is this about Gregg?"

"How did you know?" Kate's face looked genuinely shocked.

"Louise the nurse told me." Caroline couldn't hide her anxiety and Kate saw the pain in her eyes. "She wasn't gossiping. It was purely conversation." Caroline bit her lip and looked down to her feet.

"Come on. I'll get Louise and we can sit in the day room with some privacy". Kate walked slowly to the nurses' station and Louise followed her back.

Louise smiled believing the couple were seeking some quality time. "Go on you two. Have some nice time together. You'll have your hands full soon enough with Helena here." Caroline knew Louise's smile was genuine and she didn't know there was any tension between the two women or why Gregg was a difficult word for Caroline to swallow.

Kate took Caroline's hand and led her to the day room. Caroline took her hand without hesitation or concern. She was getting used to their public displays of affection. Kate has noted this and she felt proud.

They settled on a sofa side by side and Kate reached to pick up the remote control for the TV to switch it off. There was no-one else around so they weren't disturbing anyone. Kate looked at Caroline and took her hands in her own on her lap. Her bump was still visible. "I'm sorry you found about Gregg from Louise. His visit wasn't expected and I didn't invite him."

"What did he want …. Besides you know Helena?"

"He wanted to see Helena and see that she was okay." Kate couldn't read Caroline's face. She wasn't sure how Caroline was feeling about the situation. She knew Caroline wouldn't be overly pleased but she couldn't hide the fact he'd visited. Kate continued, "We had a discussion and he is still in agreement that he'll stay out of the picture. That is if we want it that way and rather than make a decision without talking with you first I thought I would see how you felt about things Caroline."

Caroline took a little time to think. "Well. I feel a little torn really. I recognise he is Helena's biological father and when Helena grows older she'll want to know the story. However, I'm kind of finding it difficult because I feel out of the picture with Gregg in the picture. But I don't want my own feelings to impact on Helena's future. He's a constant reminder that I couldn't give you what you desired."

Kate looked at Caroline and gently stroked her cheek. "I never wanted this to be difficult for you Caroline. I know you and Gregg didn't get off on the right foot, which was probably my fault for forcing you to meet him. I feel torn too. I want us to be Helena's parents and to bring her up together. But I can't help thinking about how I would feel now if I didn't have a father. I don't know how I'd feel if I found out when I was older that I had a father who had chosen not to be around."

Caroline took Kate's hand from her cheek and squeezed them in her own. "What does Gregg really want? I mean does he want to be in Helena's life or is he simply trying to stick to the promise he made?"

"I'm not really sure. I get the impression he would be happy to walk away and let us bring Helena up without him. Maybe the answer is that we agree to be honest with Helena when she grows up and if she wants to meet Gregg when she is older we agree she can. What do you think?" Kate was genuinely concerned for Caroline and how she felt about things.

Caroline looked up to the ceiling, hoping someone would give her an answer to all the turmoil in her heart and her head. "Can we think about it Kate. We don't have to rush into a decision now. I don't want to make the wrong decision and regret things later."

Kate nodded in agreement but she could see the turmoil etched on Caroline's face. "I'm so sorry Caroline. I really didn't think about how this would be in the future. I guess I was so driven to be a mother I didn't stop to think about ….. After ….. About you."

Caroline smiled and gently stroked Kate's hair out of her face. She felt so happy to be a part of Kate's life again. She didn't want the aching she was feeling. Tired of all the issues burning down on her Caroline felt weary. Her mother's attitude and her walking on egg-shells around her, Lawrence's pain with growing up, John's behaviour and the divorce, the future living arrangements for them all and then Gregg's sudden re-appearance. She didn't want to burden Kate with all her thoughts and tribulations. "Kate. We can work this through. There always seems to be something getting in the way but I want you to know I love you and I really missed you."

Kate's smile was wide and filled her face. It was the first time Caroline had seen that huge smile that melted her heart in a long time. She knew then that things would be okay in the end.

"How did you get on with Lawrence and your chat?"

Caroline laughed giving some relief to the tension between them. "Well, I had to endure a lunch at McDonald's believe it or not."

Kate laughed out loud and then covered her face when she realised Caroline wasn't laughing. "Dr Elliot in McDonald's. Well I never."

Caroline gave Kate a look that said it all. "I will not be repeating that experience ever again. Helena will not be going to McDonald's if I have anything to do with it!"

Kate grinned, "Oh no, no, no, definitely not." As much as she tried she couldn't help herself and burst out laughing again.

"Kate this is not funny. Anyway back to Lawrence. I asked him how he would feel about us all living together in the future. And he said he wasn't keen on crying babies and dirty nappies. He asked if we all got a house together that we get one with an annexe so Helena could live there like Celia and Alan."

Kate smiled. "That's so sweet. Would you want us hidden away in a 'Baby Annexe'?"

Caroline laughed, "Oh god no. That wouldn't be much fun would it? Anyway. I asked Lawrence how he felt about you and me now. He surprised me by telling me I was much happier when you were in my life." Caroline smiled and held Kate's hands again. She gently squeezed them and then rubbed Kate's arms in a show of affection. "I had to agree with him. My life has been pretty miserable without you Kate."

Kate smiled, "I know how you feel. I wasn't exactly enjoying things either. Despite what you may have thought. I was just being stubborn when you reached out to me asking for another chance. My heart was screaming yes but my head was still stuck in the past. I'm sorry about the way I treated you."

"It's okay. We're here now." Caroline moved closer to Kate and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. She'd missed those soft and silky lips and the sight of Kate's huge smile was enough to stir up Caroline's desires. Kate reciprocated and the kiss deepened with the women both getting more passionate. A deep-throated cough startled the two women who immediately jumped apart. They both turned at the same time to see Nurse Grimm's face of thunder, filling the doorway of the dayroom.


	14. Chapter 14 - Along Came John

Caroline lead Kate back to her bed and heard Helena crying in her cot. Louise picked her up and handed her to Caroline who rocked her, gently soothing her to sleep again. "She likes you Caroline. You haven't lost your touch have you?"

Caroline smiled, "It seems not. Kate, are you sure you and Helena won't come to stay with me when you leave the hospital?"

Kate smiled. In truth she knew she didn't want to face all the tension in Caroline's house. Lawrence had been hostile and unfriendly with her. Celia had been very judgemental never shying away from making her true feelings known. Kate always felt like an outsider in her company. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with Caroline. It was more that she wanted them to have somewhere together that they both had equal ownership. Currently Kate felt like a guest in Caroline's house and she knew she always would. She didn't want to cause a rift so soon with Caroline so took the easy way out. "I'd love to Caroline but my mum is so looking forward to fussing Helena. I don't want to disappoint her and I think we need to ease things in with everyone. You're not disappointed are you?"

Caroline smiled. "No, no. It's just me being selfish again." Caroline changed the subject. "Have they given you an indication of when you can come home yet?"

"Not yet. I was going to ask Louise if she had an idea. I miss my creature comforts and I'm not getting much sleep with the comings and goings in here."

Caroline looked at Kate. "Well, How about if take some time off work for a week to come and help. Do you think your mum would mind?"

Kate's face lit up again. "Oh Caroline. That would be lovely. I'm sure my mum would love to have you with us when I come home. Are you sure you can take the time off work?"

"Oh yeah. Graham can cover me for a week. He's covered for me before when I've been away at conferences. This shouldn't cause too many issues. Besides I'm entitled to one week paternity leave. I'm sure the Board of Governors will approve it. Mind you Beverley will have a fit. I'm sure my diary will be full the first week and having to re-arrange everything will knock her ship off course for a while."

Kate smiled at the beautiful sight before her. Caroline was rocking Helena in her arms like she'd been doing it for years. Despite her doubts about living arrangements she was sure that together they could all find some way through the hurdles and prejudices of life as a same-sex couple with a new baby. She watched as Caroline gently placed Helena back into her cot. Caroline rested on the edge of the bed. Caroline leant in to whisper in Kate's ear. Kate looked over Caroline's shoulder to see the sour face of Nurse Grim watching their every move. "Caroline as much as I like your suggestion I don't think we'd get away with it here. Especially when you know who is keeping her beady eyes on us."

Caroline smiled mischievously and bit her lower lip. She replied rather loudly and on purpose. "Oh I don't know. She might learn a thing or two."

Kate burst out laughing and saw the look on the face of Nicola in the bed opposite. She had come in the day before Kate and was going home today with her son, Jacob. Nicola was smiling at Caroline and Kate's antics and the effect they were having on Nurse Grimm's face.

Caroline continued with her little exploits. "I can't wait to get you out of here and ravage you naked in your bed."

Kate looked down shying away, "Caroline, stop it please. You're going to leave me here on my own with sour face and have me all worked up. If you don't stop now I'll get my own back on you when I come back to school."

Caroline's face didn't alter from the mischief.

"Caroline. I meant it. I'll grab you in the corridor in the middle of break and give you the biggest kiss of your life."

Caroline liked her lips then ran her hand down the gap in her own top showing her cleavage giving Kate more of an eyeful than was acceptable on a maternity ward. "Now Miss McKenzie. That is something for me to look forward to. I'll give you a detention and …."

Kate stopped Caroline mid flow and was giggling herself. She grabbed Caroline's hand and pulled it away from her ample bussom. "Don't you dare? Stop it now."

They were interrupted once again by a loud noise directly behind Caroline belonging to Nurse Grim clearing her throat. "Ladies, visiting time is over in 5 minutes."

Caroline smiled at Nurse Grimm. "Thank you, Nurse ….." Caroline looked at her uniform name badge. "Nurse Bottomley. You're very kind."

Kate was trying to hold on to her laughter at the nurses' name. She was struggling to hold on to her giggles much to Nurse Bottomley's annoyance. Caroline joined in and they both smiled at their joy.

Caroline kissed Kate on the lips and then walked over to Helena and kissed her lightly on the head. The scent of a new-born baby was so sweet and comforting. Caroline whispered her good byes to their new-born daughter. She turned back to Kate. "Can I ring you later before I go to bed? Do they allow mobile phone calls on the ward?"

Kate smiled and then stifled a yawn. "Yes. sure."

Caroline smiled. "Okay. I promise to behave. I just want to hear your voice."

"That would be really nice. I look forward to it. Drive carefully on your way home and send my love to everyone."

Caroline kissed Kate one last time and then walked off down the corridor taking one last look back before leaving the ward, passing the sour faced nurse on the reception desk.

As she drove home she thought about how things had changed for her over the last year. She had spent the previous Christmas with John, the boys and her mother going through the rituals of the festivities. She had no idea then what lay ahead for her. She remembered being in the Kitchen that day cooking the dinner and looking out the window feeling somehow lost. Life seemingly passing her by. Shocked that she was 45 and hadn't found the 'happiness' that everyone worked for. She remembered thinking that she had two beautiful children, a huge Georgian house, a loving husband and a top job. She wondered what was missing but couldn't put her finger on it. She had felt so lonely in her life. Looking back she realised that John had probably been off having it away with Judith even then.

As she entered the driveway she saw John's car and cursed herself. "Damn. What the hell did he want?"


	15. Chapter 15 - There May Be Trouble Ahead

Caroline walked past John's car and saw a number of his belongings on the back seat. "Shit. Not again." She entered the house and called out, "Hello?" to Lawrence. She didn't receive a reply so went in search of him. She found him in the sitting room with his father. Lawrence's face showed that he was upset. She looked at John. "Everything alright?"

John didn't look up or answer her question. She looked at Lawrence who began to cry and ran past her out the room. She heard him run up the stairs and heard his door slam shut. "John. Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? Clearly Lawrence is upset with something."

"He's fine." John's dismissal of Lawrence upset Caroline. "Well clearly he isn't fine. He's been crying. Do you want me to go up and ask him what's happened?"

John was angry. He stood up and confronted Caroline. "That's right Caroline blame me. Did you plan on telling me anytime soon that you were moving your fancy woman and her offspring in to my house?"

Caroline held her anger in check not wanting to let John get to her. "I haven't seen you and the details haven't been finalised yet. Kate will be going home with Helena to begin with. She'll probably stay over for one or two nights in time. Anyway the house will hopefully be sold by then."

John's face was still filled with fury and anger which shocked Caroline. "John what is Lawrence so upset about?"

John looked down to the floor. "He asked if I had found a place of my own yet. I told him I hadn't yet and I was still living with Judith in her flat. He asked if I could come over and stay here to spend the day with him next weekend. I ….. I had to turn him down. I've got a big deadline with the publisher for the new book and I'm too far behind to take a day off. It's a week on Monday."

Caroline tried to hold her feelings in check instead of creating an argument. "John. Wouldn't one or two hours in the afternoon with Lawrence just give you a bit of a break from your damn book?"

"That's right Caroline put it all on me. I'm not the one embarrassing him in front of his school friends by being a Lesbian."

Caroline laughed at John's words. This angered John further. "John. Listen to yourself. Can't you just get over the fact I've found someone else? I've moved on? Is your ego so big to be hurt that I'm with another woman?"

John didn't answer and Caroline could see from his expression she had hit the jackpot with him. He was still hurting from the fact she had moved on to happier things whilst he was stuck. John changed the subject. "Anyway, who is this Greg bloke?"

"Greg?" Caroline was physically shocked and she couldn't keep her feelings from showing on her face. How the hell did he know about Greg? "What do you mean Greg?"

John looked up at Caroline seeing that she was uneasy. "Lawrence said a man came to the door and asked for you and then asked for Kate. He told Lawrence his name was Greg and asked him to tell you. Lawrence asked me if I knew him. Who is he?"

Caroline grew more concerned by Greg's appearance at her house. She didn't think he knew where she lived and why was he visiting. "He's a friend of Kate's from University."

Seeing the unease grow in Caroline's demeanour John pressed on. "What did he want with you, if he's Kate's friend? Are you having a threesome?"

Caroline's face was like thunder now and she gave John that look. Unsure of whether to be honest with John about Greg's true involvement with Kate she turned things over in her mind. She reasoned that John would probably find out one way or another eventually. "Greg is the donor for Kate's baby."

John smiled to himself. "Did Kate … you know …. I mean, did she….. with Greg?"

Caroline didn't answer and this told John all he needed to know. "Oh dear."

Caroline held on to her fury and unease. "John, why are you here exactly?"

Celia joined in with the assault on John having watched their argument un-noticed from the doorway, "Yes. Why are you here?"

John's face changed instantly when he saw Celia. He was sick of being pushed out. "It's still my god damn house. I'll visit it to see my children any time I like."

Caroline finally lost it. Unable to hold on to her resolve. "Oh right. How about next weekend when Lawrence is playing Rugby? Will you go watch him play or are you too busy with the damn book?"

John walked out the house and Caroline heard the front door slam. She looked at her mother trying not to let Celia see the effect Greg's name had made on her earlier. She muttered to herself. "Shit. Lawrence." She turned to walk up the stairs to go see Lawrence. Celia called after Caroline. "Who is this Greg fellow?"

Caroline stopped mid step and turned back to her mother. "What do you mean?"

Celia saw Caroline's concern. "Well. I was with Lawrence earlier in the sitting room and the phone rang. It was a man. Said his name was Greg and asked for you. Grace mentioned he was a friend of Kate's from university and she didn't say more than that."

Caroline's head was now spinning. "What did he want, exactly?"

Celia saw Caroline's mood had changed to one of worry. Celia grew concerned now. "Caroline. Who is he love?"

Caroline didn't know whether to tell her mum about him. She didn't want her mum to feel any less of Kate than she already did. Celia said some kind words but deep down Caroline knew her mother didn't approve of her relationship with Kate, didn't approve of her and the baby. "Mum. It's a long story and right now I need to make sure Lawrence is okay."

Caroline found Lawrence in his bed with his music on loud. She turned the music down and called to him. "Lawrence. Are you okay?"

Lawrence didn't reply but Caroline heard muffles from under his duvet. Caroline sat on the bed and bent down to give him a big hug. "I'm sorry Lawrence. It can't be much fun with everything that's going on right now."

Lawrence looked up at his mum. "No-one wants me anymore. Not you, not dad. You're both busy with other people. It's not fair." He put his head into his pillow and continued crying.

Caroline's heart wrenched at his statement. Had she been so blind to his thoughtful comments earlier in the day when they had chatted in McDonald's. She could see now that he didn't want to upset her with how he really felt. She rubbed his shoulder. "Lawrence. I do love you and I do want you. You're so precious to me. Come here."

Caroline took him in her arms and hugged him tight. "I'm sorry if you feel left out. I promise not to leave you so much."

Lawrence nodded a reply. "Lawrence. Your father loves you too. He's trying to get things together and find somewhere to live. I'm sure once he has somewhere you'll be able to go over and stay."

Lawrence looked at his mum. "He told me he couldn't because he had things on."

Caroline stroked his face. "Yes. He has things on now but it won't be forever. I'm sure."

Lawrence smiled at his mum. "I love you mum. How is Kate and the poo machine?"

Caroline laughed at his description of Helena. "They're both fine. Lawrence, how do you really feel about things with Kate and I? I mean really?"

Lawrence didn't give his mum eye contact. He looked down at his bed and fiddled with his pillow. "I feel left out sometimes. I feel confused and I don't know what's happening. I want things to be the way they were. You know when you and dad didn't fight all the time."

Caroline had tears in her eyes. "Lawrence. I'm so sorry. I can't change things and go back. I know it's really hard for you. I wish I could make it all better but I can't. It doesn't mean that your dad and I don't love you anymore."

Lawrence looked up at his mum and saw her tears. "I'm sorry mum. I don't want you to be unhappy. You're much happier and nicer when you're with Kate."

Caroline smiled. "Yes Lawrence. I am. She makes me smile and she makes me happy. I wish it wasn't so difficult for you."

"Do you love her mum?"

Caroline taken aback by his directness and a little embarrassed struggled to answer. "Well. Yes. I ….. I do love her Lawrence."

Tucked up in bed Caroline was struggling to sleep. Her thoughts were refusing to shut down and give her some rest for the night. Lawrence's pain was hard to bear. John's constant appearances at the house. Greg's sudden and unhealthy interest in her, turning up at the house and ringing the house. Facing the aging, middle England panel of School governors with her request for leave to be with Kate. Trying to sell the house and the prospect of house hunting filled her with dread. It was not too late to ring Kate who she thought would be fast asleep so she sent her a text apologising. She hoped Kate wouldn't feel let down by her again.


	16. Chapter 16 - Fragile Life

Caroline woke to her mobile bleeping indicating a text message. It was Kate replying to Caroline's text from last night. Caroline read the text and bolted out of bed and looked at her bedside clock to check the time. She immediately rang Kate to find out what was happening. "Kate? How are you? How's Helena?"

Kate couldn't answer through her tears. Caroline started crying listening to Kate's tears. "It's Helena. Caroline I can't …. I can't lose her. Oh god …."

Caroline's nervous system kicked in, her heart beat faster and her senses became instantly alert. "Kate. I….I'm ….I'm coming to the hospital now. I love you."

Caroline got dressed quickly and went round to her mother's and knocked on the door hoping to wake her. Celia eventually came through to the back door to see Caroline's tear streaked face. "Caroline. What's the matter love?"

"Oh mum. It's Helena. She developed breathing problems in the night. They've rushed her into intensive care. I need to go to the hospital. Can you look after Lawrence for me please?"

Celia took Caroline into a hug and nodded. "Go on love. You go. I'll see to things here. Let me know how she is when you can. Drive carefully love."

Caroline drove to the hospital in a trance. Her thoughts were racing again. Just when she thought things were working out and she was finally a mother. Her thoughts turned to the 'what ifs' and she shook herself to stop her mind drifting to the bad things. Caroline looked at herself in the rear-view mirror and she looked like she felt. Her face drawn and her complexion pale and grey. She felt grubby but didn't want to waste time. Caroline thought about time and what it meant to her now. Time was precious, especially with Kate, with Lawrence who was growing up fast. Time with Helena would be very precious given all that Kate had gone through to have her.

Caroline arrived at the hospital and walked down the corridor to the maternity ward hoping with all her might that it wasn't nurse Bottomly on duty. She wasn't in the mood for any kind of trouble with her. Caroline saw a new nurse at the desk, one she didn't know. "Hello. I'm here to see Kate McKenzie and Helena? I'm Caroline, Kate's partner."

The nurse smiled at Caroline and told Caroline Kate was in the neonatal intensive care unit with Helena. Caroline listened whilst the nurse gave directions to the unit but she couldn't help the tears that flowed. "I'm sorry. I….."

The nurse got up and took her arm. "Come on follow me. I'll take you there. Try not to worry. She's in the right place and having the best of care."

Caroline smiled and they walked through a number of corridors before she saw Kate by an incubator with wires leading all over. The cartoon decorated walls didn't make the situation any less worrying. Caroline's heart was in her throat at the sight of her lover and their new daughter so fragile. "Kate!"

Kate turned and saw Caroline and held her arms out as Caroline rushed to her. They both hugged one another and cried tears. Tears of pain of what they were facing. Tears of relief that they were together to face the challenges ahead and tears for a shared understanding at where they were and their fragile Helena holding on to life. "Caroline. She's so tiny and I can't help her. I feel so useless."

Caroline held Kate close to her resting her chin on Kate's head. She pulled away and stroked Kate's cheek and kissed her forehead. She smiled for Kate's benefit but felt pain inside. "If she's anything like her mother, she's a fighter and she's in the right place with the right people. What have they said?"

Kate looked from Helena to Caroline. "They think she has some form of infection. But they're not sure at the moment. They're running all sorts of tests to see. The Doctor has said he will see us both in about an hour when he should have some more results through."

Kate began to cry again, leaning heavily on Caroline's shoulder and wiping her tears with a tissue too full of her heartache already to take anymore. Caroline stroked Kate's head and brought a clean tissue from her pocket. Kate took it and smiled at Caroline. "I'm so glad you're here. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Caroline smiled trying to hold on to her own thoughts and feelings and 'what ifs'. "Kate I would have been here with you both whatever."

Just then the nurse who had shown Caroline to the intensive care unit brought her another chair. "Here. Sit down and I'll see if I can find someone to give you both an update."

Caroline pulled the seat next to Kate's and held on to Kate's hand as they both moved to sit down next to the incubator. Kate let the seat take her weight and held her head in her hands seeking some strength at the sight before her. "Why didn't I know that something was wrong with her Caroline? I should have known as her mother."

Caroline leaned over Kate and hugged her again. "Sshh. Kate stop blaming yourself. You weren't to know. These things happen."

"But I'm her mother. I was there with her, feeding her only an hour before. She was fine. I was tired and I went straight to sleep. I should have …"

Caroline stopped her mid flow. "No. Kate don't do that please? I know it's easy for me to say but blaming yourself isn't going to help her now. She needs you to love her and be there."

"Oh god. Caroline. I give that to her and more." Kate laid her head on Caroline's lap. She felt exhausted having woken in the night to Helena crying. When she picked her up she couldn't calm her and got upset crying herself. Noticing Kate's distress the young nurse had come to Kate to help her. As soon as she felt Helena she dashed to phone the Doctor. She was very calm when she told Kate not to panic but she needed the doctor to take a look at Helena. Kate was surprised by the quick attendance of the Doctor and after that everything blurred and merged into one. She was suddenly surrounded by lots of people and voices of concern.

Kate explained the events to Caroline trying to analyse her actions, hoping in some way to find where it had gone wrong. She couldn't help thinking it was something she had done which had caused Helena to become ill.

Both women were brought into the present by a male voice, "Hello. I'm Doctor Caraghan. Are you Helena's parents?"

Both women nodded at the same time. The doctor smiled and apologised. "I know this may be difficult for you but I have to ask. Is the father around?"

"No he isn't. He doesn't want to be involved." Kate answered immediately without hesitation. "Why? What's wrong doctor?"

"Please sit down." The doctor pulled up another chair. "Helena has Group B Streptococcal Disease or GBS. It's not uncommon for newborns to develop infections in their first couple of weeks. Helena's immune system isn't developed yet. She could have picked it up during her birth or after. We will never know."

Kate looked stunned. "So what does that mean now?"


	17. Chapter 17 - Pleading for Relief

The Doctor reassured Kate, "The good news is that we can treat it with antibiotics. She'll stay here for a few days whilst we watch her carefully. We'll do more tests to find the exact infection so we know which drug is the most suitable."

Kate couldn't help her tears. A mixture of relief that they knew what it was and how to treat it but the worry of the treatment not working. "Can I….. Can we stay with her here?"

The doctor looked at them both. "We were looking to discharging you today Kate. We'll discharge you from the maternity ward but you can both stay here as long as you wish. However, I know it's difficult to leave her, but I would recommend you both to go home to get some rest."

Kate's face immediately revealed her inner conflict. The doctor re-assured her. "Kate you can't do anything here now. Helena will be here for at least 3 days. I'm sure Caroline agrees with me when I tell you that you look exhausted. Even a few hours of rest in your own bed will do you the world of good. I promise we will call you the minute anything changes."

Caroline talked with Kate trying to counter argue all her protests. "Kate please? The doctor said you need some rest. You do look really tired. Have you rung your mum yet?"

Kate shook her head and more tears flowed. "Do you want me to ring her for you?" Kate nodded to Caroline.

"Can we pop in to see mum on the way home to mine?"

"Of course we can. If that will persuade you to go home and get some rest. Then yes." Caroline held Kate and turned to the Doctor and smiled. "Thank you."

Caroline used Kate's phone to ring Grace to tell her the news and let her know their intentions. Caroline handed the phone to Kate so they could talk. She used her own phone to update her mother. Caroline was thankful her mother would drop everything to help no matter what. "Caroline love. I'm so sorry. How is Kate?"

"She's holding on mum. I…. I couldn't…."

"I know love. I know. Are you going to stay with Kate? I can look after Lawrence for you. He's happy enough. We're playing Mario Kart. He's winning but Alan's getting better." Caroline laughed at the image of Alan playing a video game.

"Thanks mum. I'll keep you updated. I'll probably come home in the morning. Tell Lawrence I love him."

Celia laughed. "He knows you love him dear."

"No mum. It's important you tell him I said I love him. Please?"

"Okay. He'll probably turn his face up though."

Caroline finished the call and rang her secretary at school. "Hi Beverley. It's Caroline… …..Yes, the wedding was wonderful. Thank you….. Kate is fine. That's why I'm ringing. Kate gave birth to Helena on Boxing Day morning. She's at Harrogate maternity unit… Yes and thank you Beverley. You're very kind… The thing is Helena has developed an infection and is in the neonatal intensive care unit." Caroline smiled at Beverley's kind words and blushed.

Beverley had known that they were together but had never said anything. She also knew that things had been difficult between them more recently. She asked if Caroline and Kate were together again and told Caroline she was pleased to hear that they were because they were a lovely couple.

Caroline explained that she had a meeting booked the following day with Gavin and that she intended to tell him and ask for paternity leave to be with Kate and Helena. She asked Beverley to explain what had happened and that she would re-arrange their meeting before the start of the new term.

Caroline saw that Kate had finished her call and did the same with her call. "Come on Kate. You need to get changed so I can get you to your mum's."

Kate smiled but she didn't feel very happy at the prospect of leaving Helena. She kissed the incubator and whispered 'I love you'. Caroline hugged the incubator with her and whispered a little louder. "I love you beautiful."

She walked Kate back to her bed on the maternity ward only to see nurse Bottomly on the ward desk. The nurse didn't give Kate and her any grief. Caroline didn't know if her face gave the nurse the impression that to do so would mean certain death for her or whether the young kind nurse had put her in the picture. Caroline was grateful not to have to fight anyone today. Overwhelmed by all the kindness everyone had shown to her, Kate and to Helena she made a mental note write thank you cards for the nursing staff.

They arrived at Grace's house less than 30 minutes after leaving Helena. It was a two up two down Victorian terraced town house with the front door directly leading onto the pavement. Caroline managed to find a parking space for her big Jeep only two houses away. Grace was waiting for them both at the door and took them both into a huge hug. She had clearly been crying herself and couldn't help crying once again. She bundled them inside and Caroline saw a warm and cosy sitting room with an open fire, single chair and two-seater sofa positioned around the fire. The furniture was slightly dated but it was tidy and well-kept with care and attention to the little things such as voiles at the windows and doilies on the side table.

Grace made them both a cup of tea and made them sit down. Kate cuddled up to Caroline not letting go of her hand. It was if her life depended on it and her grip was tight. Both women explained what the doctor had said to Grace who listened attentively and told them both they were to listen to his advice and they were no good being tired and worn out for Helena.

Kate felt relieved to have seen her mother and felt more calm and settled after her visit. Her mother's smile, her warm and welcoming hugs did their job to re-assure her that leaving the hospital was the right thing to do. She waved to her mum out the window of Caroline's car and turned to Caroline. "Thank you Caroline." She rested her hand on Caroline's thigh and smiled. "I don't know what I would have done without you. I do love you."

Caroline smiled at Kate and patted her hand which lay on her lap. They arrived at Kate's about 15 minutes later and Kate felt happy at the familiar surroundings. She was home but she felt strange that something was missing.

Caroline was busy getting Kate's things from her car and entered her sitting room to find Kate in tears. She took a seat next to Kate and held her again. "Come on Kate. I'll make you a cup of tea and run you a bath."

Kate looked at Caroline. "I'm sorry. I'm such a mess. I wish she was here with us. It's empty without her. I feel lost Caroline."

Caroline gently stroked her cheek and kissed Kate on her forehead. "Kate. She'll be home before you know it. You'll feel better after a bath and a sleep. Come on. Let's get you upstairs to the bathroom."

Caroline helped Kate undress and started the bath pouring bath salts into the water filling with room with rose scented warmth. She helped Kate into the bath and went down to get Kate's tea. She returned a short time later, tea in hand to find Kate lying in the bubbles with her eyes closed. She placed the cup on the side of the bath and bent down, kneeling on the black and white tiled floor. She rested her hand on Kate's arm. Kate opened her eyes and looked at Caroline. "I'm sorry for how I treated you Caroline. I can't take back all the horrible things I said to you. I wish I could but I'm so grateful you took me back."

Caroline smiled at Kate and stroked her arm gently. "We both said and did things in the moment. We can't change that now. But I do want to spend the rest of my life with you and Helena. I promise to be more open and loving with you. Beverly told me on the telephone she knew we were a couple and so pleased we were back together because we make a lovely couple."

Kate smiled and threw bubbles at Caroline playfully. Caroline leant down to kiss Kate and Kate pulled her into the bath causing Caroline to squeal with delight.

Caroline's phone buzzed on the tiled floor and they ignored it. So happy for the moment of joy that had been scarce in the last day they were content to just enjoy one another.

Lawrence was pacing in the kitchen waiting for his mum to answer the phone. His mum's answer machine kicked in with her familiar professional voice and he left a message pleading for his mum to call him back.


	18. Chapter 18 - Tired and Harassed

Caroline stripped off her wet clothes and dressed in Kate's spare dressing gown. She helped Kate dry and placed a warm towel around her, showering her with kisses and words of love and reassurance. Kate laughed at Caroline's wet clothes on the floor. "I'm sorry Caroline. I couldn't help myself."

Caroline looked at her beautiful face. "Have you got anything that will fit me? Lawrence has rang and left a message on my phone. I'd like to pop home to see him whilst you get some rest."

Kate smiled. "I'm sure I can find something which will fit you in the wardrobe."

Caroline took Kate into her bedroom and closed the bedroom curtains. She took the phone from the bedroom much to Kate's protest. She diverted Kate's phone to her own mobile and pulled on the cream cotton trousers, white t-shirt and blue loose cotton shirt Kate had found for her. She had to breathe in to fasten the trousers. Kate smiled at Caroline. "You look really nice in my clothes."

Caroline laughed. "They're a little too small I think."

Caroline put her wet clothes into the now empty bath. She'd sort them later when she had more time. Back in the car and on the way to her house she called the house hoping Lawrence would answer. The answer machine clicked in and she ended the call without leaving a message.

She rang her mother's mobile and again only received an answer machine. She left a message explaining that she was on her way home. She then tried Lawrence's mobile but again only received his answer machine. She grew worried and confused that no-one was answering. She rang Gillian's number. Thank fully Gillian answered straight away. "Hi. Caroline, how are you doing? How are Kate and Helena?"

Caroline quickly updated Gillian on the events of the last few hours. Concerned she explained her own experience. "Caroline. I'm sorry. I'm sure she'll be fine. Our Raff had a similar thing."

Caroline concerned for Lawrence as well as Helena interrupted Gillian. "Gillian. Have you heard from my mum recently?"

"They're all on their way here t' farm. They're probably in a mobile dead spot. Don't worry. I invited them over to cook 'em a meal. Robbie is here and Raff and the baby. I thought it would help Lawrence being w' Raff whilst you w' looking after Kate."

Caroline smiled with relief. "Gillian. Thank you. You're an angel. I'm worried about Lawrence. He's been more upset than I realised lately. John isn't making any time for him and he feels like we don't love him." Caroline began to cry.

"Hey. Don't beat y'self up. He's at funny age. He'll be okay. I'll have a chat w' him. You know, you're always welcome to come over t' farm. I realise you'll probably stay w' Kate and Helena in the hospital but if you need a break. You're welcome here."

Caroline stopped crying. "Thanks Gillian. I'm so grateful. Can you ask Lawrence to ring me when he gets there? I'd just like to talk with him."

"Of course. You take care."

Caroline arrived at the house a short time later. It felt strange knowing the house was empty and she was on her own. It felt too big to her. It was then that the realisation came and her feelings changing. It was right to sell it and move on. She needed to move on to a new place. One that was hers and Kate's. She smiled at the change in her feelings. She quickly went upstairs and put a bag of clothes together. She made herself a sandwich from the left overs in the fridge. She needed to do a shop because the fridge was practically empty. She didn't know when she would get the chance and thought about putting a list together but changed her mind. She would talk with her mother to arrange things.

Her mobile rang, it was Lawrence. "Hi mum. How are you doing?"

"Hello Lawrence. I'm okay. How are you doing?" She felt so guilty listening to his voice after the promise she had made.

"I'm okay mum. I miss you. How is Kate and Helena?"

"I miss you too. Helena is in hospital. She is poorly but the doctor is positive she'll be okay. Kate is at her house asleep."

"Mum. Can you come over to the farm? I know you're busy but when you get a bit of time. Please?"

Caroline became concerned. "Lawrence. I'll try. Is everything alright? You're worrying me."

"He said not to tell you but I don't like him."

"Who said this Lawrence?"

Lawrence was whispering not wanting to let anyone else on the farm hear his conversation. "That man who came to the house. Greg."

"Lawrence. When was this?"

"He rang me on my mobile. Did Kate give him my mobile number mum? I don't like him. He gives me the creeps."

Caroline's head started running wild now. "Lawrence. Can you put Gillian on the phone please?"

"Yeah. Love you mum."

"I love you too Lawrence." Caroline's heart was racing to catch up with the thoughts in her head. What was he doing ringing Lawrence? Why was he doing this? This was a form of stalking and she felt extremely uneasy.

Gillian came on the phone and Caroline explained the issue with Greg and Lawrence's comments. Gillian suggested Robbie could help and she should talk with him. Caroline said she would speak to him later but that she was sure he was safe with her at the farm. Gillian promised to talk with Robbie.

Caroline took a seat on the sofa in the dining room to rest her body. Her mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts about what Greg was up to. Why now, why her, why Lawrence? It was 30 minutes later when her phone rang and she realised she had fallen asleep. She shook herself and saw that it was her mother calling her.

"Mum, hi". Caroline moved her hair out of her eyes.

"Are you alright love? I can tell by your voice. Something's the matter."

Caroline sighed heavily. She explained to her mum about Greg giving her the full details and her concerns. There was a long silence which caused Caroline to feel uneasy. Her mother was rarely lost for words. There weren't many times where her mother didn't feel the need to fill a gap in the conversation.

"Well. Who is he? I mean do you know who he really is? Do you know anything about him? Where does he live? What does he do?"

Caroline couldn't answer her mother and this time she left the silence.

"I think you need to have a serious talk with Robbie. You need to speak to the police about him. Caroline, are you listening to me?"

Caroline held her head in her hands and cried to herself. It was the hurt and fear she felt for Helena, the worry she felt for Kate's pain and the fact her son was now frightened by this man. She regained her composure not wanting to seem weak. She was the strong one. The one who everyone else looked to when things went wrong. "I will mum. I promise I'll speak to the police about him. But I need to chat with Kate first."

"Okay love. Send Kate my love and I'll ring you later. Bye love."

Caroline got up and went to pour herself a drink of orange from the fridge when there was a knock at the door. "Bloody John. That's all I need." She took her glass of orange with her to the door. She opened the door and she gasped at the site and just managed to safe the glass from falling from her hand.


	19. Chapter 19 - Greg

"Hello Caroline. I think we need to talk about things. About Kate and the baby and what will happen when it's born. You know I'm a part of this picture and Kate knows it too." Greg stood on her doorstep looking quite expectant.

Caroline quickly tried to regain her composure and not show Greg his unexpected presence had shaken her. She resolved to keep her facial expression passive but knew she was probably failing. "Hello Greg. I appreciate you have the need to talk with me about 'things'. However, ringing my son on his mobile is not something I think is appropriate. Could I ask that you stop ringing him please? He doesn't know who you are and he is only 15."

Caroline waited to see the response from Greg to her request and used this as a measure of how he would react to things. She remained on the doorstep not moving to show that Greg would be invited inside.

Greg looked down to his feet and then looked up with a slight grin on his face. "Caroline. I have left messages for you to contact me and you haven't so I had to make sure to would ring me. Your son seems like a nice lad. Lawrence? I think his name is?"

Caroline thought for a moment again tried to keep up a calm exterior. "What do you want Greg? Do you want to be a father to Kate's baby? Do you want to be in the picture for her future?" Caroline realised her error all too soon. She cursed to herself under her breath.

Greg smiled. "Ah. You know the sex of the baby then. I'm guessing you've been to see the scans with Kate. Well that is a surprise to me Caroline. After all the names Kate called you the night we…. Kate and I made love in that beautiful hotel room. She couldn't wait to see the back of you and your controlling nature."

Caroline held her nerve. She knew he was only trying to get her to react and pressure her with her insecurities. "Greg. Look I'm not being funny here but there is no Kate and you. I hate to break the bad news but you were only a means to an end for her. I'm sure she made that perfectly clear that night."

Greg's smile intensified his face turning into a grin. "That night? You mean the night we made love. Are you jealous Caroline? You couldn't give Kate what I could. Couldn't give her what her heart desired. Couldn't give her what I did and have given her?"

Again Caroline drew on her deepest resolves. She had met men like Greg in the education sector. Men who thought that their own satisfactions and feasts on women made them somehow superior to everyone else. She had met men who offered to take her to bed and show her what she was missing. She had shown that she herself could find their insecurities and the fact their wives probably didn't love them anymore. "Greg, please? Humour me here for a minute will you? I physically can't give Kate sperm. You're right there. I'm sure I don't need to give you a biology lesson. However, did you make Kate sing from the hilltops with her repeated orgasms that night at the hotel? Have you since then made her scream out your name so loud the neighbours complain?" She waited a short time to see his reaction. Encouraged by the fading smirk on his face she continued. "No? I didn't think so. I'm guessing she simply laid there and thought of England and probably me!"

Greg' face was now one of fury and anger at Caroline's comments.

Caroline continued. "Greg. I'm really sorry that you and Kate split up after you were at university but Kate is gay. I am gay and we are a couple in a loving and fulfilling relationship. We have our ups and down like everyone else. You were only ever someone who she could use to have a baby. So she could become a mother. If you really do want to be in the baby's life then this is not really the best way to go about it."

Greg's face changed again, his resolve and bravado shaken by the words that cur very deep. He began to cry. He turned his face away from Caroline embarrassed at his visible weakness. Much to her better judgement Caroline went out and put her arm around Greg to comfort him. "Greg. Come on. Come inside. Please?"

Caroline made them both a cup of tea and fetched Greg a tissue to wipe his tears and clean up his face.

She took a seat opposite him against the dining room table whilst he was sitting on the sofa. She had the advantage of being higher up than he was and looking down at him. She didn't want to lose the advantage her words had given her so far. "Greg do you want to be involved in the baby's future? Yes or no?"

Greg didn't answer Caroline and by the look on his face she took to mean indecision and not petulance.

"Greg. You need to decide pretty quickly about what you really want. If you have done this because you want Kate back then I'm really sorry but she isn't going to change her sexual orientation overnight. If you've done this because you want to be in the baby's life then I'm sure we can all reach an agreement."

Caroline waited until the words had sunk in and Greg had time to process them.

"Caroline. I'm sorry. I felt flattered by Kate's request to help her with a baby. She did tell me that you were together and that it was purely to help out but I thought I could light the spark we had at Uni' all those years ago. I guess I was wrong and now I've made a complete fool of myself."

Caroline looked at Greg with pity and not anything else. She considered her next move before speaking. "If you want to be in the baby's life then I'm sure you can be. But you need to be sure that you do. The last thing we would need is for you to be there and then walk away from her. That would be more damaging emotionally."

Again Greg didn't answer Caroline straight away and she again took this as a sign he wasn't sure. "How about you have a think about things and then give me a ring back. I'll give you my mobile number so you don't have to bother Lawrence again. Okay?"

Greg started to cry again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset Lawrence. He seems like a lovely lad."

Caroline smiled. "Well Lawrence certainly has his moments." Caroline paused not sure whether to carry on. "Greg. Lawrence is quite unsettled at the moment. His father ran off with another woman and comes back when he feels like it. Lawrence thinks his father doesn't love him anymore and he's hurting pretty badly. Lawrence doesn't understand that his father is lost and doesn't know what to do with his life. He is still too young to understand and he believes his father doesn't care about him. That is why I'm pleading with you to think about what you really want because whilst it's very important to Kate and I, and extremely important for the baby and her future."

Greg finally nodded to Caroline that he understood what she meant. He finally smiled for the first time in a way that displayed to Caroline he was okay. "I'm so sorry to cause all this upset with you and Kate. I really didn't mean to. I know you'll have a lot on your plate when the time comes. You know."

Caroline smiled. "Well to be honest Greg Kate had the baby on Boxing Day and she is very beautiful. We have called her Helena. I mean it when I say that if you would like to be a part of her life then we can work something out."

Greg smiled a broad smile again. "Helena? That's a lovely name." He took a deep breath before adding. "Caroline thank you and sorry again. I'll have a think about things but I'm pretty sure I'll say no to becoming involved. I'm still too young and irresponsible and I wouldn't want her to end up like Lawrence in the future."

Caroline smiled. "Please take a bit of time and have a think about it and let me know."

"How is Kate doing? Is she worn out with everything? I mean Helena would have been premature wouldn't she. Crikey."

"She is exhausted and she's resting at the moment. I've come home to get a few things so I can stay over with Kate to give her some support. Her mother will be staying over too."

Greg pulled a face at the mention of Kate's mother. "That's another reason I'll keep out of your way. Her mother can be quite open with how she feels about things. After Kate and I had been going out for only 2 weeks she asked me what my future intentions with Kate were. I was half drunk and I couldn't answer her. She gave me a right telling off. Don't ever piss Kate off because her mother comes out in her."

Caroline laughed at Greg. She remembered how Grace had given the nurse a dressing down on the Maternity Ward. "Oh I think I may have already seen some of that."

Caroline waved Greg off from the doorstep after giving him her mobile number. She was sure things with him would be okay now. She closed the door and sighed heavily. She was thankful that issue was pretty much sorted. She thought about popping back to see Kate and ringing Lawrence on the way. She smiled and took her bag to the front door. She went round checking the windows were all locked and then opened the front door. She stopped in her tracks at the site of yet another visitor!


	20. Chapter 20 - John

"Caroline can we ….. Can we talk for a moment please?"

John looked quite sad compared to his usual daft or drunken self. He was unshaven, clearly unwashed and she felt sorry for him. "Come in. I can give you a few minutes but I need to be going back to Kate's soon."

Caroline found herself again sitting on the dining room chair facing John on the sofa, their sofa. It felt like ground-hog day for her. It felt like she had so many children in her life needing her attention and the one who needed it the most was so far away. She resolved to go visit Lawrence at the farm tonight no matter what. "What's the matter John? What do you want?"

John looked at her with his puppy dog eyes. "Caroline. I need to talk about selling the house. I need to get it sold quickly because I want a place of my own. I can't stand it in Judith's flat. It's cramped and there are empty bottles everywhere. I feel like I'm a bloody student again. Have you had anyone show any interest at all?"

Caroline sighed. "To be honest John I really haven't had the time. Kate was rushed into hospital having had the baby prematurely and then Helena… sorry, she's called Helena. Helena developed an infection and she's in the intensive care unit in an incubator. Greg's been harassing us…. Sorry, Greg is the donor for Helena. The holidays have meant the estate agent's office has been shut. So the short answer is well, No!"

John's face looked crest fallen. He seemed to shrink into himself and all at once fade a little. Caroline felt for John who looked so lost. "John what's really going on with you now? You don't look very good to me."

"It's Judith. She's an alcoholic and spends most of her money on it. She's behind with the rent and I'm propping her up with what little income I have. So I could really do with the cash to get away. Find somewhere on my own. Would you … consider dropping the price a little?"

Caroline's face was furious. "Let me get this right John. You want me to drop the price so that you can escape the clutches of your bit on the side who is an alcoholic. The woman you left me, your boys and this house for? I guess all the excitement of the hiding behind people's backs and the risk of getting caught has worn off now? I guess the reality of life and responsibility sinking in now?" Caroline couldn't hide her anger. Her face was bright red and clearly she was holding herself control in check but it was fighting with the need to not let him know his betrayal still left their mark.

Caroline took a deep breath before asking her next question. "John when …. did you and Judith start your affair exactly? I meant how long was it really going on before you told me?"

John looked a little sheepish. "Caroline I didn't mean to hurt you or the boys. I was just bored with …" John stopped before he really landed himself in it.

"Bored with what John? With me, with your family? With your boys? What John, because I supported you with your writing and your creative mind. If that bored you then all your publishing success was a complete…... Is it more difficult for you now? Now you have to sort your own shopping, make your own dinner, wash your own clothes and balance the budgets." Caroline composed herself again. "Just tell me when John? Please? You owe me that much."

"It was about 18 months before I told you and left to live with her."

Caroline's heart skipped a beat in shock. It was far longer than she had ever thought. He had sneaked off with Judith even when they had gone away on holiday to Greece two summers passed. She felt angry and sad for the Caroline then that had no idea and had gone on juggling her work, her family and her husband. The old Caroline who nearly took him back had changed. She smiled and felt happy for the Caroline she was now. She had Kate who was far more caring and considerate with her than John had ever been. She had Helena that initially she wasn't really ready for but now felt love beyond the heavens for.

She looked up at John with a huge smile on her face and John noticed. "What? What are you smiling at Caroline?"

"I will drop the price to help you. Just as soon as I can get hold of the estate agents. I'll drop the price so that I can finally rid you out of my life and so that you can get a place of your own. When you do get a place of your own, you are going to make time for your son, Lawrence. He loves you John and he is heart-broken by what you've done. If you're not careful you are going to lose him forever and that would be a real pity John. Because as much as you feel I hate you I don't. I really pity you and your sad excuse for a life at the moment. You need to dry yourself out, get a damn job and make time for your beautiful son before it's too late."

John just stared at Caroline with a knowing acceptance of what she said. He didn't answer and looked like a small boy wanting his mother.

"John you can stay here for the next few days if you like whilst I'm staying at Kate's. My mum, Alan and Lawrence have gone to Gillian's farm for a few days. Please do not have Judith round here because I don't want to come home to a huge mess. I will warn you now. If I do come back to a big mess I will change the locks and I will not drop the price. I will not clear up after you and Judith's drunken antics anymore. Do you understand me?"

"Yes. Yes."

She left John sitting on the sofa, collected her bag and walked out the door to her car. She looked at the time and couldn't believe it was now nearly 4 o'clock. She decided that she would head over to Halifax even if it meant only spending a few minutes with Lawrence. She was determined to give him a big hug and reassure him about Greg. She would ask him if he wanted to come back with her to Kate's house. She would leave it until the last-minute before ringing Kate. She didn't want to wake her but she didn't want to push Lawrence out.

About a mile away from the farm she called Kate's mobile and Kate answered. She sounded quite tired. "Kate. Sorry, did I wake you?"

Kate's voice brightened. "No, I was just resting my eyes. I've slept on and off for most of the day. Are you coming home?"

"I'm just in Halifax to see Lawrence. I was worried about him." Caroline didn't want to upset Kate but she wanted to make sure she knew that Lawrence was a part of their lives too.

Kate smiled at Caroline. "It's okay. I do miss you but I understand you need to see him."

"Kate. I want to ask Lawrence if he would like to come and stay with us at your house. Do you mind if I do? He's been so unsettled lately and I'm worried he's feeling pushed out."

"Caroline. Of course you can. I really want you to know that Lawrence is always welcome here with us and Helena. He's a part of our family now. You really don't have to ask me."

Caroline cried at Kate's comments. "Thank you Kate. You're so precious to me. I really love you. I won't be long. I promise." Caroline ended the call and continued up the single moors track to Gillian's farm. She looked out across the beautiful scenery and felt the fading sun shine on her face. She was filled with light, happiness and warmth.

It was nearly quarter to five by the time she arrived in Gillian's farm-yard. Lawrence came running out to her with a huge smile on his face. "Mum, you came. Are you staying over?"

She took Lawrence in a big hug and squeezed him tightly. "I'm sorry Lawrence. I can't stay here with you because I have to get back to check on Kate." Lawrence looked saddened by her reply. "But how about you come with me and stay over at Kate's house? I can even take you to see Helena tomorrow if you like?"

Lawrence's face screwed up at Caroline's offer. "Does that mean I'll have to listen to you and Kate tonight?"

Caroline laughed slightly embarrassed. "Oh my god. Have you heard us … you know…?"

Lawrence looked at his mum slightly embarrassed and nodded. He looked up from his bowed head.

Caroline tried to stop a smile sliding across her face. "Is it that… I mean….. Do we….Noisy?"

Lawrence again nodded to answer his mum's embarrassing unfinished questions.

"Oh my. Well then I'm sorry Lawrence. I promise not to be so noisy in the future. I didn't realise we were that …. Erm…. Well. I'm sure tonight you'll have no worries there. I promise."

Lawrence looked up at his mum with a smirk on his face. God mum you are such a sucker. I was only kidding you. Do you really make lots of noise when you and Kate ….."

"Lawrence! You….." She blushed, then smiled and drew him into another hug.


	21. Chapter 21 - The Hospital Calling

Caroline smiled to herself at Lawrence's antics at the farm. She realised he was slowly turning into a young man and obviously the very cheeky one who would charm his way through life. Lawrence had decided to stay at the farm with Raff and not be with Caroline and Kate. They had arranged that Celia would bring him to the hospital later the following day so he could see his sister Helena.

It was gone seven when Caroline finally arrived at Kate's. She rang on the way to let Kate know what she was doing. She collected a pizza on the way back for them to share.

Entering Kate's house Caroline found her on the sofa in front of the television.

Kate wasn't asleep so much as lying down to find a comfortable position. She was still quite sore and the painkillers were working but they were making her extremely sleepy. Kate didn't want to live in a constant daze so she limited her intake.

"Hello Kate." Caroline knelt next to the sofa and gently stroked Kate's hair from her face. Kate immediately smiled at the sight of those beautiful blue eyes and her girlfriend's huge smile. "Hi, I've missed you."

Caroline smiled and knelt closer laying a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips. Kate found the kiss warm and loving. She put her arm up around Caroline's shoulder and pulled her into a more passionate embrace. Caroline moved in closer and gave into Kate's neediness. She pulled back from their kiss. "That was a nice welcome back. I really needed that after the day I've had."

Kate looked questioning at her. "Why what's happened?" She looked worried at Caroline's expression but Caroline stroked her hand. "It's okay. It's nothing to worry about." Caroline changed the subject not wanting to worry Kate. "Are you hungry?"

Kate frowned. "Caroline. I know you too well and recognise your diversion tactics straight away. Spill the beans or there will be no more kissing and you'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight!"

Caroline laughed that she had been caught out so easily. She usually succeeded with diverting people away from issues which were sensitive but that was in work. She knew Kate was far more knowledgeable about how she worked a room now. She looked over to Kate in the doorway and smiled. Kate looked up at her and smiled knowing she was right. "Come to the kitchen and we'll talk whilst we're eating."

They settled down across the small table from one another and hungrily devoured their shared chicken and spinach pizza. Kate looked up at Caroline having satisfied her hunger. "So?"

Caroline smiled with her mouth still full. There was a glint in her eye that told Kate she was stalling for time. Kate looked with a wide expression waiting patiently for Caroline to finish eating. Caroline finished. "You know you are very good at interrogation without evening uttering a word. You should have been a police officer. I would confess anything to you."

Kate laughed. "Mmmm, I see yet another diversion from Dr Elliot. Spill now or I'll carry out my threats and extend the time until 12 o'clock tomorrow lunch time."

Caroline took another piece of her pizza in her mouth and arched her eyebrows in mock surprise at Kate's threats. She finished her pizza and placed her knife and fork down, using a napkin to wipe her mouth. "Okay. Well where do I start? Greg came to the house whilst I was there and initially he was trying to intimidate me."

Kate's expression changed to concern at the realisation Greg had tried to take on Caroline. "Oh god. Caroline! What did you do to him? Is he alright?"

Caroline laughed and continued to explain what he had said about the night in the hotel and what he said about their encounter.

Kate stopped Caroline mid flow by placing her hand on her lover's cheek. "Caroline I'm so sorry. I know what happened that night really hurt you and for him to use it was below the belt."

Caroline looked down at her half eaten pizza. Kate pulled her chin up to her to see those blue eyes watering over. Kate reached across the table and kissed Caroline on the lips. "I can't take back what happened. I don't know what he told you but I didn't enjoy the experience one bit. In fact after we had done the deed I went back to my room and cried. I cried for you, cried at the experience and cried for risking everything just for one last chance at being a mother."

Caroline pushed her plate aside and took Kate's hand in hers. She used the other to wipe her tears from her cheeks. "Kate I know we've both done things we don't feel proud of. We can't change them and they're in the past. I don't think badly of you. I understand. But I can't help getting upset by the thought of you and him. But then I change my thoughts to Helena and realise we wouldn't have her otherwise. You came back and that's all that really matters to me now."

Kate smiled and then finished off the last of her pizza. Having wiped the plates clean they washed up and Caroline made them tea. She made Kate go sit back on the sofa in the sitting room and brought the cups through to her.

Kate made space for Caroline on the sofa so that she could lay against her side and they could snuggle up together for a much-needed break from their termoil. Kate then asked Caroline to continue with the details of her day. Caroline explained that she had brought Greg round to a more co-operative and engaging state. He was now thinking about whether to have any part in Helena's life. Caroline told Kate she thought that it would be good for Helena to know her father and have regular contact as long as it was for the long-term. She told Kate she had explained this to Greg and he was thinking about what he would do. "He told me he didn't think he would be involved in Helena's life and said he didn't want her to be like Lawrence is now with his father running off. I hope you're not mad at me for encouraging him to be involved Kate. I just thought about Lawrence's situation with John not making time for him. Lawrence is very unsettled at the moment and he really misses having his father around."

Kate didn't answer straight away. "I'm not mad Caroline. I just hope we can make it work if he does decide to become involved. I do understand that it would be right for Helena but I just hope he doesn't make any problems for us."

Caroline kissed Kate on the side of her head. "I don't think he will now Kate. He changed in front of me. All his bravado disappeared and he seemed really genuine. Anyway, I was just about to leave to come back here when John arrived."

"What did he want?"

Caroline sighed. "He wants me to drop the price of the house so we can get a quick sale. He wants to leave Judith's flat and get a place of his own. He's realised happiness is not at the bottom of a bottle in Judith's flat. She's behind on the rent and she fleecing him."

Kate didn't immediately answer Caroline. She stroked Caroline's upper leg. "I don't think it's a bad thing to drop the price if it means it sells quicker. I mean, it would free you up and I could sell this place. We could all get a place together much sooner.

Caroline rubbed Kate's shoulder with affection at her reasoning. Having all of them altogether was a nice thought and a dream she had already had. "Yeah I told him I would as soon as the Estate Agents office opened. I'm sure the offices will be shut for the Christmas break." Caroline changed the subject yet again. "Oh speaking of Lawrence. The little sod caught me out again. I went to see him at the farm as you know. I asked if he wanted to come over here to stay with us tonight because I was worried he felt so left out. Anyway he decided against it but then told me he'd heard us both when we were….. you know… in my bedroom."

Kate laughed out loud and moved to a sitting position so that she could see the look on her lover's face. "What did you say? Oh I bet you turned in to Elmer Fudd stumbling over your words?" Caroline blushed and Kate laughed. "Oh you did."

Caroline gave Kate an affectionate nudge in the arm and continued. "Well the little sod then looked all embarrassed and I was ….. Then he told me he was winding me up and he asked me if were noisy when we…. You know!"

Kate smiled and then took Caroline unaware into a deep and passionate kiss. She searched for her lover's tongue and delved deep into her, wanting her and needing to take her. Caroline let herself fall into her own needs which had been unfulfilled for the last few days. She realised she had missed that passionate contact with her lover. She reached under Kate's loose blouse and stroked her breast finding her erect and pert nipple. Kate let out a moan after Caroline's touch. Kate wanted Caroline and knew she was still sore but didn't care. She had missed her as much and just wanted to feel her beautiful smooth naked body against her own. "Caroline. Will you take me to bed now? All the talk of us being noisy has me … wanting you."

Caroline stopped, unsure if she should continue. She didn't want to hurt Kate knowing she would still be sensitive and sore. "If you're sure? I don't want to hurt you and…." She looked to Kate for reassurance before they were interrupted by her mobile. She looked at the screen and jumped. "Oh bugger. Its John again." Caroline hit the decline button and dropped it on the floor by the sofa.

She continued where she had left off placing her hand under Kate's half open blouse touching her soft warm skin. She moved in for another soft kiss and her phone started ringing again. Kate stopped her hand. "It will be John again. Just ignore it. He'll give up when he gets the message."

The phone stopped ringing and a bleep indicated a message had been left. A short time late the phone began to ring again. Caroline stopped their kissing this time and picked her phone up to check it was John. She didn't think he would be so persistent after they had talked. She checked the missed calls and her expression changed to panic. "Oh god Kate. It's the hospital!"

Kate immediately panicked. "Oh god it's late. What's wrong?"


	22. Chapter 22 - Hospital Calling

Caroline answered the call and glanced across to Kate. Everything seemed to slow down. She could hear her own heart beating in her chest and she felt on edge. "Hello?"

It was the Doctor who had encouraged them to take some time out and go home to sleep and rest. He asked to speak with Kate and Caroline passed her the phone. "It's Doctor Caraghan."

Kate took the phone and hesitated before placing it to her ear. Caroline saw the worried look in Kate's eyes and held her free hand in hers. She looked at Kate's hand and gently stroked her palm hoping in some way that it would make everything alright. The gesture was partly to give herself with the comfort of contact and Kate with support and courage.

Kate asked questioningly. "Hello. Doctor Caraghan?"

Caroline watched Kate's face intently. She couldn't hear the other side of the conversation so had to read her lover's expressions. Kate's facial expression changed from concern to a frown. Kate couldn't help the tears that began to flow down her cheeks. Caroline saw the tears and instinctively thought the worst. She began to cry herself and Kate saw her face pleading. Caroline mouthed to Kate, 'What?' Is she…?'

Kate shook her head between her tears trying to let Caroline know that she was wrong. She released her hand from Caroline's gentle caressing and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She shook herself, straightening her resolve and holding her voice solid. "Doctor Caraghan? Hold on a minute please?" She put the phone down and placed her hand over the phone. She looked directly into Caroline's pained blue eyes.

Caroline saw the corner of Kate's mouth turn up slightly and her heart settled. "Caroline it's not… She's okay. Don't worry." Kate quickly placed the phone back to her ear to continue the conversation.

Caroline finally let go of the breath she had been holding, relieved at the good news. She took hold of Kate's free hand again and Kate squeezed her hand gently.

"Okay. Thank you…. Yes we will be…. Thank you. Bye."

Kate was shaking so much she couldn't work out how to end the call on her lover's phone. She passed the phone to Caroline who clicked it off and threw it by her side on the sofa.

"He rang to let us know that Helena is doing well. She is stable and he is pleased with how she is progressing. He said we could visit her tomorrow after lunch." Kate began to cry with tears of relief and happiness. "He said… he said if she improved a little again tomorrow we could go in and hold her too."

Caroline smiled and took her lover into a warm and gentle embrace. "Oh Kate. That's wonderful. I was so worried when you started crying." Caroline laughed a little and Kate did the same. They pulled apart and smiled again with relief. Caroline leaned forward and kissed Kate on the lips softly and gently. She needed the contact, the reassurance and the knowledge that everything was okay. Kate pulled away from the kiss and gently brushed a tear away from Caroline's cheek. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. They were tears of joy. I love you Caroline. I'm so happy now. Thank you."

Caroline smiled at her lover's words and leaned in again to kiss the soft lips she adored. She finished the kiss and then shyly asked. "Kate? Can we go to bed and ….. lay naked together? I promise. No funny business….. I mean you're too….. you know."

Kate stopped Caroline by pressing her finger to her lips. "Caroline I will happily go to bed and lay naked with you. As for the funny business I don't think my jokes are anywhere near as good as Lawrence's but I do have a Michael McIntyre DVD if you think that will help!"

Caroline burst out laughing at Kate's retort. Kate joined in releasing the tension that had built all day but which they didn't want to acknowledge.

"Kate please, I do not want to go to bed with Michael McIntyre." Her face changed to one of softness and caring. "I just want to hold you close to me. Just for tonight."

Kate smiled again. "I've missed the feel of you next to me. It's the best feeling in the world." Her face changed from sweetness to one of desire. "I'd also like to get inside you and to make you sing from the hilltops." Kate saw Caroline's pupils widen instantly and knew she had pressed her lover's button. "I want to taste your sweet desires and to drink….."

Caroline stopped Kate in her tracks. "Enough with the description. Come on take me to bed now. I'm all yours."

Kate lead the way up the stairs to her bedroom. She held Caroline's hand in much the same way as the night of Celia and Alan's wedding. Caroline saw the look in Kate's eyes of pure want and lust. This had the effect of Caroline's own desires running wild. Her heart-rate quickened and she licked her dry lips as she watched Kate's bottom as they ascended the stairs.

Once in the bedroom Kate began to slowly undressed Caroline, relieving her of the clothes she had given her earlier in the day. Her blouse slipped from Caroline's shoulders to the floor revealing a plain white t-shirt which hugged Caroline in all the right places showing off her ample and inviting cleavage. Kate reached down to undue Caroline's trousers and found them very tight. Caroline breathed in and then helped Kate. "Sorry. I did say they were a little tight."

The women were interrupted by Caroline's mobile buzzing indicating a text message. Caroline knew who it would be and quickly glanced a look and immediate burst out laughing.

Kate's face turned to a puzzled expression, "What?"

Caroline smirked. "He must be spying on us."

Kate smiled now. "Who?"

"Lawrence! He's text, 'Night mum, Kate. Keep the noise down:0)'"

Kate smirked. "I don't think we need to keep the noise down. Do you?" Caroline's eyes widened as Kate resumed her task in relieving Caroline of her clothes. Kate lifted her t-shirt and reached round to undue the clasp releasing Caroline's breasts. She watched as they bounced free and gently caressed them. She leaned over and began kissing the right nipple which was already on high alert. Caroline gasped at the arousing contact from Kate's warm lips.

Kate maneuvered Caroline to her bed and relieved her fully of her trousers which had only gathered around her feet. She undressed herself whilst watching Caroline's nakedness spread across the duvet. Caroline hadn't moved to climb under or to her side of the bed. She lay seductively staring at Kate.

Kate climbed on top of Caroline and they adjusted to move under the duvet but Caroline knew that the duvet wouldn't last very long.

Kate lay to the side of Caroline and picked up where she had left off with kissing and caressing Caroline's nipples. She switched from side to side and then used her free hand to gently feel the inside of Caroline's thighs. Caroline pleaded and tried to move to meet Kate's fingers but Kate held fast. The two women enjoyed their noisy, love-making late into the night unabashed by restraints of others, before falling sound asleep next to one another.

Caroline woke in the morning and felt Kate still lying next to her. Her arm was resting across Kate's side and she awoke on her back. She heard the gentle inhaling of breath indicating Kate was still asleep. They had both been through so much in the last few days. Caroline felt physically exhausted and emotionally drained. She knew that Kate would be more so with the anticipation of having her first baby after so many failures in the past.

Caroline gently moved her arm from Kate's side trying not to disturb her. She wanted to get up and go down to make a cup of tea. She put her dressing gown on and exited the bedroom onto the landing. She stopped in her tracks hearing a noise from downstairs. She immediately held her breath hoping to increase her hearing. She heard it again and her body reacted by taking an intake of noisy breath. She brought her hand to her mouth not knowing if the person in Kate's house had heard her.


	23. Chapter 23 - The Visitor

Caroline moved quietly across the hallway in her bare feet. She decided facing the unknown in nothing but her dressing gown wasn't very brave so she returned to Kate' bedroom, reached into her overnight bag, pulled out her pyjamas and quickly put them on. She listened intently for any further noises from downstairs. She had stayed at Kate's a few times over their relationship but not enough to know the unique noises of the house. She didn't know if she had imagined the noises earlier or if they were simply part of the house and its movement.

She realised she was holding her breath and slowly released it before berating her own foolishness. 'It's only the house.' She was just about to look for her slippers when she heard it again. It was distinctive enough for Caroline to identify the source as a chair being moved across a tiled floor. The floor in Kate's kitchen. 'Who the…' Caroline was about to storm down the stairs and face the intruder when she heard the sound of a beautiful melodic singing. She smiled at the words. '….still love me tomorrow.'

She instantly knew the voice was Kate's mum, Grace. She smiled and realised that she sounded a lot like Kate's singing when she played the piano after school. She was taken back to a time when Caroline walked the corridors of the school looking for Kate. After the first time of finding Kate singing in the music room, Caroline found herself venturing there nearly every night in the hope of seeing and hearing her. It was a good few weeks before Caroline plucked up the courage to enter the room and be open about her love of Kate's singing. In those two weeks she had remained outside in the corridor listening and watching like a love struck teenager.

Caroline went down the stairs and walked into the kitchen to find Grace preparing bacon and scrambled eggs on the stove. "Morning Caroline. How are you doing today?"

Caroline smiled. "I'm good thank you Grace. How are you doing?"

Grace continued cooking. "I'm very good. In fact, I am the happiest grandmother in the world and it's all thanks to you and Kate. Is she still asleep?"

"She is. Yes. What time is it Grace?" Caroline searched for a wall clock only to draw a blank.

"It's just gone ten o'clock dear. You two sounded as though you were enjoying yourself last night so I didn't interrupt you. I thought you may need the rest." Grace turned around and winked at Caroline causing her to blush. Caroline couldn't help smile at the thought of Grace hearing Caroline and Kate crying out in pleasure. After Lawrence's leg pulling and now Grace catching them Caroline thought they really had no secrets left to keep and were pretty out and loud.

She busied herself making tea for her and Kate. "Would you like tea Grace?"

"That would be lovely dear. Have you heard any news of Helena?"

"Oh yes. The doctor is very pleased with her progress. We can visit her after lunch and if she improves enough we will be able to hold her." Caroline beaming at the lovely news saw Grace's smile widen.

Grace immediately loudly proclaimed, "Oh my. God has answered my prayers and kept her safe. I am so very happy."

Caroline was just about to walk back up the stairs to take Kate her cup of tea when she was met by a sleepy-eyed Kate on the way down. "Morning darling. Your mum is making a lovely breakfast. I hope you're hungry."

Kate smiled at the sight of her girlfriend wearing her dressing gown. "I'm really hungry actually. I could eat a horse."

Grace interrupted the love birds. "Morning my beautiful one. Bacon eggs and tomato to keep up your energy levels. After the noises you two were making last night I think you will need a large breakfast."

Kate blushed and looked across at Caroline who smiled. She looked away in an effort not to burst out laughing.

A horn sounded outside and Grace busied herself putting her coat on and picking up her bag. "That's my taxi. I'm going to leave you two love birds. I'm popping across to see your father at the home. I'll be back before lunch if that is okay. I would very much like to join you when you visit Helena at the hospital?"

"Mum. You're always welcome to come with us to see her. We'll wait for you to get back. Give dad a kiss for me." She kissed her mother on the cheek and Grace hugged her back before walking out the door to the waiting car.

When the two women heard the door close they both looked at one another and burst out laughing. "She must have got in late last night when we had gone to bed. I didn't hear anything did you?"

Caroline gave Kate a look. "Kate, I couldn't hear anything whilst you were …. You know… mmmmm, lovely things…."

Kate laughed at the thought. "You certainly didn't hold back asking for more Caroline."

This caused Caroline to blush and take a quick drink from her cup of tea. "Come on let's eat." They both took their seats at the table mirroring their meal from the night before.

"What time is your mum dropping Lawrence off?"

Caroline finished her bacon before answering. "I haven't rung her yet to arrange a time. If we say eleven thirty that will be enough time for your mum to get back and we can all go together."

Kate reached across the table and took Caroline's hand and gently squeezed it indicating she was happy and so pleased that their two families were brought together by their new daughter. "Wouldn't your mum and Alan want to come too?"

"Maybe. I just thought that the hospital wouldn't allow too many visitors whilst she is in the intensive care unit."

"Ah. Yes. I didn't think about that. I'm so happy just to be able to see her again. I really miss her Caroline. I can't wait for her to come home and we can all be together. Are you going to contact the Estate Agent's tomorrow?"

Caroline nodded in between taking another bite of her scrambled egg. "This is really nice. Your mum is fabulous cook. I was hoping to go tomorrow if they're open. Why?"

Kate squeezed Caroline's hand again. "I'd like to come with you. I want to put this place on the market as soon as possible. We can also look at what they have for sale and arrange some viewings if there is something we both like."

Caroline put her folk down and took Kate's hand in her own. She gently rubbed her thumb over Kate's palm. "Kate. Are you sure about this? I don't want to put any pressure on you."

Kate smiled at the worry on her girlfriend's face. "Caroline. I want it more than anything in the world. I really want us all together, one big family. It's the only part of the jigsaw missing now. Besides if we can get some things sorted before you go back to work then it will make things a bit easier."

Caroline's face grimaced at the mention of work. "Speaking of work. I have some work I need to get done before I go back. I thought I'd have the holidays on my own and my mind wasn't at work before Christmas. I couldn't really concentrate."

Caroline saw Kate's face lose its smile. "Kate. It's okay. I'd rather have a backlog of work and you in my life than be lonely and on top of everything. When we were apart I realised that work was really pointless. All the money and the big house. It was really empty and meaningless without someone to share it with… without you to share it with."

Kate smiled at Caroline's thoughts and the sharing of her feelings which reflected her own. "I know what you mean. This house wasn't the same without the lingering scent of your perfume. Without the smell of you on my bedclothes. Without your shoes in the hall. I missed those things and they were very small in the scheme of things. I'd sit on the sofa marking homework and cry because you weren't there with your glasses perched on the end of your nose and a glass of Merlot on the coffee table."

Caroline smiled and picked up her tea and held the cup up inviting Kate to do the same. "Here's to paperwork coming out my ears, Merlot on the coffee table, shoes in the hall and long, loud sex!"

Kate picked up her own tea-cup and raised it to Caroline's cup. "Here's to crying in the night…. From Helena, nappies on the line, lazy days in the park, sore boobs…. From Helena, Lawrence babysitting and for the occasional candle lit dinner for two!"

They clinked their cups together and laughed together happy with their soon to be new life. Their ventures into predicting the future were interrupted by a knock at the door. Caroline answered the door to find Lawrence with his kit bag. "Hi mum. Have you only just got up?"

Caroline looked passed him for her mother drawing a blank. "Where's your gran?"

"Oh she's had to go. Godzilla Granny is on the warpath again. Granny and Alan have had words about something. I don't know what but Gillian was really upset and crying."


	24. Chapter 24 - Celia

Caroline let Lawrence into the house and he joined Kate in the kitchen at the table. "Breakfast? At this time? Have you two been …" Kate smiled and looked down at her plate.

Caroline jumped in quickly to stop Lawrence's cheekiness. "No. don't even go there Lawrence. You will be banned from video games for a month!" Caroline took hold of his shoulders and gently removed him from her seat and pointed him to the breakfast bar stool.

"Mum. Can I stay here with you and Kate tonight?" He looked a little flat after his bravado and mischief earlier. He looked at his mum and Kate with a pleading face.

Caroline looked at Kate and turned to face Lawrence. "Of course you can. Is everything alright?"

"It's a bit tense at the farm with Granny and Alan not talking and Gillian being so upset. Raf has left to stay at his girlfriend's place. Can I have some toast please?" Lawrence smiled in the hope of sweetening his mum to his biggest want … food!

Kate looked at Caroline across the table lifting her eyebrows at Lawrence's comment. She got up having finished her breakfast. "I'll make you some Lawrence. Do you want to take your bag up to the spare room where you stayed before?"

"Thanks Kate." He got down from the breakfast stool and picked his bag up and went upstairs.

Caroline looked at Kate with a face that seemed to portray one of surrender. She had dealt with so much drama over recent days she yearned for peace on earth. Caroline placed her head in her hands and sighed heavily. Kate moved across to where Caroline was sitting and gave her a hug from behind. "You know you don't have to get involved with whatever is going on. I know she's your mum but you could give it a bit of time and things may resolve themselves or it may blow over."

Caroline laughed in a mocking way. "Like that is ever going to happen. Haven't you realised yet Kate. The Dawson's thrive on drama. It's part of our DNA and probably why my father had so many affairs over the years. Ordinary day-to-day life was too boring for him."

Kate snuggled into Caroline's neck and kissed her cheek. "You're not a Dawson any longer Caroline and neither is your mum." Kate gently squeezed Caroline.

Caroline sighed at Kate's embrace. It felt so nice, so warm and so comforting. It was just this type of moment Caroline missed so much when they were apart. She patted Kate's arm. "Thank you Kate. You're so sweet. I love you." Caroline felt comfort from the familiarity of the moment. "I'm sure mum will ring me when she needs me. I'll leave things alone for now. She knows where I am. Come on Kate. We need to get dressed. Your mum will be back soon and we need to get ready to go see Helena. I think I'll have a shower."

Kate smirked. "Would you like me to keep you company in the shower?"

Before Caroline could reply Lawrence cleared his throat as Kate's words. Caroline blushed yet again at her son catching them out. "You go first Kate. Otherwise Lawrence may die of embarrassment." She turned to Lawrence and arched her eyebrows. "Won't you?"

Lawrence looked down with a smirk on his face. He took a seat at the breakfast bar and tucked into the toast Kate had ready for him. Kate walked off up the stairs leaving them alone.

Caroline took their time alone to see how her son was doing. "We're going to see Helena this afternoon Lawrence. Kate's mum is coming too. She is called Grace and is a real force to be reasoned with. You won't be able to tie her round your finger. I've seen her in action and you have no chance!"

Lawrence smiled with a mouth full of toast. He was about to talk when Caroline's look reminded him he was eating and it wasn't polite. "After visiting Helena we're going to the estate agents to talk about the house sale. We may look at checking out some new houses for us all to live in. You can come with us or you can stay with Grace?"

Lawrence looked crest fallen. "Oh great. I've left Friction Farm and fallen into Tedious Tower."

Caroline laughed. "You haven't met Grace yet."

Kate came down the stairs dressed in a loose fitting white blouse and pale blue linen trousers. She wore flat sandals and to Caroline she looked beautiful. "Oh. You look nice."

Kate smiled, "Thank you. The bathroom is all yours!" Kate with her back to Lawrence winked at Caroline as she passed her on the way to the stairs.

The interaction was interrupted by the voice of Grace, "Hello my darlings. Are we ready to go see my gorgeous granddaughter?" Grace walked through into the kitchen to see her daughter whom she took into a huge hug. "Hello my beautiful daughter. Your father asked where you were and then told me he loved you….. ten times!" Grace turned to Lawrence. "Ah what a handsome young man. From your description you must be Lawrence. I am Grace and very happy to meet you."

Lawrence stood and took the hand offered by Grace. Grace shook his hand vigorously causing Lawrence to wince slightly. "Nice to meet you too Mrs McKenzie."

Grace let out a hearty laugh. "Oh such impeccable manners too. This is not the defiant, cheeky and sensitive young man I have been told about. I think you and I will chat and get to know one another."

Lawrence smiled politely and inside his heart dropped when Grace surprised him. "Lawrence. I hear you're a dab hand at Mario Kart?" Lawrence's face lit up. "Yeah."

Grace again let out a hearty laugh. "Good. I have a games console at home which my dear daughter Kate practices on. I also hear Kate gives you a good run for your money!"

Lawrence's face revealed his competitive nature. "She only wins because she distracts you. That's called cheating in my book. She calls it strategy."

Grace again let out a hearty laugh and hugged Lawrence which surprised him. "My daughter is good but she learnt all the tactics and strategies from me. I'm going to, how do you say it … whoop your ass!"

Kate scowled at her mother, "Mum. Language please?"

Lawrence laughed at Grace's words and Kate's teacher mode. He started to like this mad lady and was looking forward to the day ahead.

"You will notice Lawrence that my daughter still thinks she is a teacher, even though she's not at school. Don't worry. I will not let her put us both in detention!" She let out another hearty laugh at her own jokes.

This caused Lawrence to smirk at Kate. Kate's look told him not to push his luck.

"Where is my beautiful Caroline?"

"She's in the shower mum. She won't be long. How was dad today?"

Grace's face changed instantly which Lawrence noticed. He looked puzzled and Kate explained. "Dad has Alzheimer's and he is in a home. Most of the time he doesn't know who we are when we visit him."

Lawrence understood and his sensitive side came out. "I'm really sorry Mrs McKenzie. It must be really hard for you."

Kate moved across to her mother and gave her a hug. "Sorry mum. He's in the best place."

Grace looked at her daughter. "I wish he could see Helena. That's what I miss. He wouldn't know who she is and would get upset."

Lawrence looked at Kate's face that looked sad. "I'm sorry Kate. I didn't know."

Kate took Lawrence in a hug which he returned. "It's okay Lawrence. There is nothing anyone can do. If he saw you or Helena it would confuse him more and he gets really angry when he's confused. We try not to upset him too much or do anything to confuse him."

Caroline came down and saw Kate and Lawrence hugging. Kate mouthed that everything was alright and she would explain later.

Caroline grabbed her keys from the counter. "Are we all ready to go?" At that point Caroline's phone began to ring in her bag. She checked the caller identification and decided that the problem could wait until they had been to the hospital. She let her answer machine take the strain. She smiled at the tactic. Then Lawrence's mobile rang she knew in her heart that she couldn't put her mother off any longer!


	25. Chapter 25 - Hospital & Houses

Caroline allowed Celia to rant on for a short time before cutting her off. "Mother, I'm sorry I'm going to ring you back. We're at the hospital and phones aren't permitted." Lawrence smiled at his mum's little fib.

Caroline looked at Lawrence, "What?"

"Didn't realise we were playing Doctors and Nurses!"

Caroline smiled at the wit of her son and reflected on how much he had grown up in such a short space of time. For a 15-year-old he had gone through so much with all that had happened. She thought back to the night in his room when he found out that she and Kate were in a relationship. He was upset and he didn't want anyone being mean to her.

They all arrived at the hospital and Caroline relieved to see the nurse on the desk wasn't Nurse Bottomley aka Nurse Grim smiled. She explained to the nurse who they were and asked if they could see Doctor Caraghan. The nurse asked them to go to the Day Centre and she would find him for her.

They all gathered in the centre and Kate glanced across to Caroline from her stance by the window. She looked concerned to Caroline. Caroline walked across to her and hugged her from behind. "It's okay Kate. I'm sure they are just going to look for him. If there was anything wrong he would have rung us straight away."

Kate rubbed Caroline's arm. "Yeah."

Grace distracted Lawrence who looked worried too. "So, Lawrence. What is the highest level you have reached on Mario Cart?"

Lawrence looked at Grace carefully. He thought that this mad lady was checking him out so he lied and aimed lower with the level he had reached. This caused Grace to laugh heartily. "Mm. I see you are a clever one. I know that the level you tell me is not quite right. Kate already told me she had beaten you on a higher level. I will have to keep a close eye on you."

Lawrence was about to defend his reply when there was a knock on the door. Doctor Caraghan stood waiting to be invited in.

Kate walked towards the Doctor. "Hello Doctor. This is my mum Grace and Lawrence. How is Helena?"

The Doctor took a seat and invited the group to join him. He turned to Kate and Caroline to talk. "Helena is doing well. We are really pleased with her progress. She is not out of the woods just yet but she is a fighter. I'm happy for the two of you to visit and hold her. But I wouldn't want anyone else just yet. We need to limit her exposure to people who may inadvertently pass something onto her."

Kate and Caroline were sitting together holding each other's hands and both released the breath and the tension they were holding. Kate smiled and looked at Caroline before turning to the Doctor. "Thank you."

"You'll both have to take a shower I'm afraid. You will need to suit and boot up in scrubs. We don't want any of your outside clothes in the unit when you hold her."

Kate and Caroline nodded that they understood and then laughed that they were going to take a shower together having resisted the urge to shower together earlier.

Lawrence and Grace looked a little sad and the Doctor noticed. "You can both see her from outside the viewing window. If you come with me I'll take you there now? Kate and Caroline can go with Nurse Watson to the sterile area."

Kate and Caroline were too full of anticipation to do anything other than a quick shower together. Half an hour later they were in the unit with Helena in the incubator. The nurse took Helena out and handed her to Kate. Kate dressed head to toe in blue scrubs, hair net and white boots took Helena in her arms. She began to cry at the sight of her precious daughter. Caroline held her arm around Kate and the other arm under Helena and smiled at her beautiful face. Helena was asleep and seemed oblivious to their presence. Kate looked at Caroline. "She's beautiful isn't she?" Caroline smiled at Kate and whispered. "Just like her mother."

The two women continued to chat with the nurse who explained the purpose of all the equipment surrounding Helena. Most of it was purely to check her progress and vital signs. There were drips to feed her and to give her the antibiotics she needed.

Kate took Helena to the viewing window so her mum and Lawrence could see her. They both smiled at her tiny features.

Half an hour later they were dressed back in their own clothes and they joined Grace and Lawrence outside the viewing area. Kate felt a little sad to be leaving her again and became upset. Caroline comforted her and told her they would come again tomorrow and spend a bit longer. The Doctor had said that the two of them could come every day to spend time with her. However, he still wanted to limit others until a week had passed.

Back in the car heading home to Kate's house Caroline asked Lawrence what he wanted to do. Lawrence opted to stay at Kate's with Grace if they went via Grace's house to collect the games console. Caroline shook her head but agreed to help him get to know Grace.

An hour later Kate and Caroline arrived at the estate agents and were looking at the brochures together. The Estate Agent who Caroline had been dealing with was off for the day. They spoke instead with another one who arranged for the price to be dropped and asked them what they were looking for in the new house. Kate arranged for her house to be placed back on the market and a board to be placed in the garden. The list of things both Caroline and Kate wanted in the new house was extensive and the look on the Estate Agent's face gave away the fact they were maybe asking a lot for their budget.

They found two houses they liked and waited for the Estate Agent to contact the sellers. A short time later the Estate Agent asked them to join him and he would take them to the houses. They spent time viewing both but they agreed neither were suitable. Arriving back at the Estate Agents they seemed flat. The realisation set in that their task ahead was going to be more difficult than they anticipated.

Back at Kate's they found Lawrence and Grace laughing with each other in front of the television, a games controller in each hand. Caroline smiled; feeling reassured that Lawrence and Grace were getting on well together.

Caroline made her and Kate a cup of tea and they went into the kitchen to talk. They took a seat at the kitchen table and Caroline noticed Kate seemed down. "Kate. Are you alright? You seem flat?"

Kate raised her head and smiled but Caroline saw through her efforts to seem okay. "That wasn't very convincing Kate. What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking about Helena. I miss her and I didn't want to leave her. I'm sorry the houses weren't up to what we wanted but I wasn't really in the mood." She looked at her hands.

"Hey. It's okay. You're bound to want to be with Helena. Crikey I felt so torn at the hospital. I wanted to scoop her up and bring her back with us. There will be other houses but it's not a priority. We don't have to rush things. We haven't sold your or my house yet so there isn't any real pressure." Caroline took Kate's hand and gently stroked her cheek. "You're probably tired too. We were up late last night and we've had a busy and emotional day. Do you want to have a nap whilst I make us all dinner?"

Kate smiled again but his time is was genuine. "Thank you. Do you mind?"

Caroline smiled and walked Kate upstairs to her bedroom and tucked her in. Do you want anything before I leave you?"

Kate shook her head and Caroline turned to leave. "Caroline?"

Caroline turned back to Kate. "Yes?"

"Thank you for today. I'm sad at leaving Helena but I'm so happy to be with you."

Caroline smiled and mouthed to her, 'I love you'.

She closed the door and went back to the kitchen. She looked through Kate's cupboards and decided on Lasagne with salad. She checked on Grace and Lawrence and began preparing the dinner. She looked out the kitchen window and smiled at how happy she felt. There were so many things to sort out but she still felt content with how things were going. She smiled when she recalled Kate and her dance at the wedding on Christmas Eve.

"You look happy. What are you smiling at?"

Caroline turned at the sound of Lawrence's voice. "Did you win then?"

Lawrence didn't smile and changed the subject, "No. What's for dinner?"

Caroline laughed. "Oh! Grace whooped you good. Didn't she?" Caroline couldn't help chuckling at Lawrence's embarrassment. "I promise I won't tell anyone at school that you were beaten by a 70-year-old grandmother if you set the table for dinner!"

Lawrence sulked at his mum's humour. "She's worse than Kate for distracting you. It's definitely cheating. It's not any of this strategy business."

Caroline continued to chuckle and opened the cutlery draw for Lawrence to gather what he needed.

"Besides I beat my personal best! Are you and Kate coming to watch me play rugby tomorrow?"

"What time is the match? Where is it?"

"It's a home game at 11 o'clock. The thing is mum my kits at home." Lawrence looked at little sheepish at the last comments knowing his mum would be angry.

"Great. That means another trip home to get your kit. Is it clean or does anything need washing?"

Lawrence didn't answer his mother again knowing she wouldn't be happy. He looked down at his hands too afraid to face his mother.

"I take it from the lack of response your kit is dirty. Well, after we've eaten tea I'll take you back home to get it and bring it here to wash it. But that will be the last time Lawrence. You need to learn to get yourself organised in future. If you forget then it is simple, you don't play."

Lawrence still didn't look up and mumbled. "Thanks mum."

They were interrupted by Caroline's mobile ringing. "Could you get that please Lawrence I've got my hands full."

Lawrence answered and then held the phone towards Caroline. He held his hand over the mouth piece and whispered. "It's granny. She doesn't sound very happy and I can't fib as well as you can!"


	26. Chapter 26 - The Burden

"Caroline. At last. I've been waiting for you to call me back all day. Whatever have you been doing?"

Caroline sighed and held her annoyance from her voice. "Mum. I'm with Kate at her house. Helena is still in the hospital and Kate isn't really doing well emotionally. Did you forget?"

Celia's voice changed as she remembered. "Oh I'm sorry love I'd completely forgotten. Is Helena okay? Is she doing well?"

"She is fine thank you mum. What can I do for you?" Caroline stood with her hand on her hip, annoyed that her mother hadn't asked how Kate was doing.

Celia took a breath and steadied herself. "Sorry love. You're annoyed with me aren't you?"

Caroline tried to steady her voice, feeling guilty that she was annoyed when her mother clearly had something worrying her. "Mum. No, I'm not. What is it?"

"Wells it's rather a delicate matter. You've obviously got your hands full. I'll leave it and speak later."

Caroline looked up to the ceiling trying to push down her guilt. Her mother always succeeded in pushing her own burden onto Caroline. She always felt guilty that her father had treated her mum so badly. She felt it had been her fault and maybe if she had been a better daughter then they would have been happy. Caroline knew even though her mother had said it didn't matter she meant the opposite. "Mother, please? What is wrong? Lawrence said you were upset and Gillian was too?"

"Caroline, I ….. I don't know how to explain really. You see its Gillian. I found her and … well ….. John in a compromising position yesterday. I didn't know the b…. was even at the farm."

Caroline's mood changed instantly in a second. "Sorry? Did I just hear you say you found John and Gillian together? Mum did you really need to tell me this now?"

Celia was silent for a short time. "I didn't really want to tell you but I was so upset. He doesn't have an ounce of decorum in his body. He has that … whore pregnant and now Gillian."

Caroline was shocked. "I beg your pardon? Did you just say Gillian is pregnant?"

"No. But it won't be long before she is the way they are carrying on. Alan and I are arguing about it all. He thinks Gillian can make her own decisions but I mean …. John? It's just so wrong … Caroline? Caroline?"

Caroline put the phone down on her mother and tried not to let her temper get the better of her. She kept checking her phone. She wanted to ring John now and give him a piece of her mind but she didn't want him to know she knew. Damn she hated that man. She was so angry with Gillian. Was she so desperate that she would literally go with anyone who offered it on a plate? She had promised Gillian not to report her to the police after her confession. Caroline was putting her reputation and her freedom on the line for Gillian. The least she could do in return was stay away from her ex-husband. She was also upset at having to withhold the information from Kate to protect her. Caroline cursed to herself. "Damn it."

"What's wrong mum?" Lawrence knew better than to interfere when his mum and Gran argued. The look on his mother's face said enough and he decided to re-join Grace in the sitting room on the games console.

Caroline hadn't managed to stop her raised voice from waking Kate whose bedroom was directly above the kitchen. Kate came down to see Caroline's face was flushed red. Kate knew she was extremely angry and guessed she had spoken with Celia. "I'm guessing from your mood that you've spoken to Celia about what she has been angry about."

Caroline looked at Kate. "Kate. I'm sorry I didn't want to bother you with this. You don't need this now. Not with Helena…."

Kate stroked Caroline's cheek with her hand in a move to reassure her. "Caroline we have agreed we want to be one big family. That means we take the good with the bad. So whatever Celia is upset about, it is as much my burden as yours. So spill or else."

Caroline smiled and rubbed Kate's arm in confirmation of her appreciation. "It would seem Celia caught Gillian and John in a compromising position. I'm gobsmacked at Gillian and her philandering."

Kate frowned. "I'm not surprised Caroline. I would be furious. You seem remarkably calm considering."

Caroline explained, "After I first jokingly called her bluff about John and her sleeping together and she saw how upset I was. You would have thought she would behave ….. differently. God she really has no morals. I realise I'm no saint but god the nerve of the woman."

Kate rubbed Caroline's arm in support. "Well. She certainly knows how to test friendships."

Caroline wasn't finished with her outpouring of anger. "You remember I told you about the day Lawrence couldn't reach me and he stayed with you. Well. I was upset at losing you and she was upset at messing things up with Robbie. One drink led to another and we drank rather too much wine and …. She opened her heart to me about her husband and how he treated her. She revealed … very personal things and I gained a certain trust in her. God I actually forgive her for the John episode."

Kate tried to reassure her. "Well. It sounds like you need to be a little more careful with her in the future. I know she's now your stepsister but I don't think the John issue is going to go away."

Caroline couldn't stop herself. "I'm going to kill him ….." She thought about her statement and began to laugh at the irony of it. Gillian had killed her husband and told everyone it was a suicide. She was actually now an accessory being privy to the deed and deciding to keep it a secret. "Kate. Gillian told me a secret that day. She made me promise never to tell anyone and I hate keeping it from you. But I can't tell you because if I do then it will … God. I mean why me, why do I have to be the one to take on the burdens of others?"

Kate seemed confused. "Caroline you've just told me this woman betrayed your trust by sleeping with your soon to be ex-husband and you're feeling guilty about keeping a secret. I'd be broadcasting it on the local news."

Caroline looked at Kate and the look told Kate it wasn't so simple and she looked heavy with the weight of the secret. "If I tell you Kate you will have the burden too. You will also realise why I'm keeping the secret even though she has rubbed our friendship in the…... I can't tell, not you not anyone, not ever." Caroline put her head in her hands and sighed.

Kate reassured her. "Come on you don't have to tell me. I'm not putting any pressure on you. It's clear from your face that it's an awful secret but one you have to keep."

Caroline looked at Kate. "She told me the details of all the beatings she took from him. She told me about how he raped her too. She told me that he spilt her blood in every room in the farm and her life was a living nightmare."

Kate's hands rose almost in slow motion to cover her mouth, "Oh Caroline?"

Caroline found herself at a crossroads. Like Robert Frost's poem,' The Road Not Taken' her dilemma was whether to take the road less travelled by. She pondered on her choice and looked into Kate's beautiful innocent eyes. Their reflection shone with nothing but love, compassion and understanding and held no burden or worry for anyone but Helena and their future together.


	27. Chapter 27 - Rugby and Rumours

Kate hesitated. "Caroline you don't have to say anymore. I think I know ….." Kate hesitated not wishing to speak the unthinkable. "It's best left unspoken. We have Helena to think of now. We've both had too much turmoil and pain recently and this issue is not ours." Kate took Caroline's hand in hers and ran her thumb over Caroline's palm. It was a gentle move intending to reassure Caroline that she understood. The look on Caroline's face told Kate all she needed to know. The matter settled. Kate left Caroline on her own in the kitchen to check on her mother and Lawrence.

Caroline looked down placing her heavy head in her hands reflecting the weight of her heart. The words unspoken meant the burden wasn't released but it was clear Kate understood. Kate was right their future was more important than the events of another's past. Caroline decided that she wasn't going to take the burden anymore. She had told Gillian that it was best they didn't speak of it anymore and that is exactly what she was going to do. Forget it.

She rose and walked to the doorway of the sitting room. "Anyone for a cup of tea?" Kate was sitting on the sofa and looked up at Caroline. She half smiled and Caroline smiled back at her. Grace and Lawrence were locked in mortal combat, concentrating too much to notice the glances. Caroline mouthed 'I love you' to Kate before returning into the kitchen.

That night as they both lay in bed together Caroline's mind pondered on their future, the house, Helena and work. She had run Lawrence over to their house to collect his dirty rugby kit and spent the night washing the kit and drying it on the radiators. She knew Lawrence was grateful for doing it and Caroline had felt guilty his needs had taken a back seat lately. "Kate, are you still awake?"

Kate rolled over, "Yes. I can't sleep."

Caroline beckoned for her to rest against her and she wrapped her arm around Kate's back and pulled her in close. "There was a message on the answer machine from the estate agents when I went to collect Lawrence's Rugby kit. They have two viewings arranged for tomorrow afternoon. I've promised Lawrence I'll watch him play Rugby tomorrow and then go see Helena. Shall I book the viewings later in the day and then you can come back here and get some rest?"

Kate looked up at Caroline. "I can come to the house with you if you like. I don't mind."

Caroline smiled and kissed Kate's forehead. "That would be ….. nice. Luckily John has left the house tidy so I don't have to spend time cleaning beforehand. Are you coming with me to watch Lawrence play or will you go straight to the hospital?"

"How about if I watch Lawrence for the first half and then leave you to watch until the end. Then you can both come over to the hospital afterwards?" Kate kissed Caroline's stomach where she rested her head.

"Mmm. Sounds like a good plan." Caroline smiled and snuggled into Kate enjoying the feeling of comfort and warmth. "This is always the best part of the day. Snuggling up to you."

Kate agreed with a simple laugh. "Does that mean you don't want any ….. you know…..?"

Caroline laughed. "Oh I think I do." She shuffled down into the bed so she was facing Kate and lifted the duvet over their heads.

"Why are we hiding under the duvet Caroline?"

Caroline kissed Kate. "Because I don't want to wake your mum or Lawrence when I make you sing from the roof tops!"

Kate started giggling. "I can't believe my mum heard us both the first night. I was just so…."

Caroline stopped Kate continuing as she took her lips in her own and relished the soft and warm feeling as she curled around her girlfriend. Their passion developed into love making with faint cries but no shouting. Sleep took over as the events of the day finally caught up.

Caroline woke and found Kate was missing. She heard voices downstairs and guessed she was in the kitchen with her mum. She glanced at the clock and realised she needed to get up in order to deliver Lawrence to the match. She showered quickly and went down to a lovely breakfast of toast and tea. Grace had already left early to go back home and check on things before visiting her husband.

They all set off with Caroline and Lawrence in her car and Kate in her own. Kate needed to leave half way through to go to the hospital so they needed both cars. It was a lovely bright sunny day but with a definite cold wind in the air. Caroline had wrapped up warm in her long padded jacket, warm gloves and fluffy hat. Lawrence had looked at his mother with a smirk. Caroline didn't understand his face, "What? Is my attire not to your liking? Is mum's spectator rugby kit not up to scratch?"

"You'll need your wellies on the pitch mum. It's very muddy. You can't wear those out on the field at this time of year."

Caroline hadn't thought about this but remember she had some wellies in the cupboard in her office at school. Kate had thought about it and was sporting a bright pink pair of wellies. She took her shoes to change into for her visit to see Helena.

They arrived at the school and Caroline parked in her usual spot outside the main entrance. Kate parked behind her and joined Caroline as she walked inside meeting Beverley in her office on the way. "Caroline, Kate. How are you both? How's the baby doing?"

Both women smiled at Beverley and Kate answered. "She's doing really well thank you Beverley. Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"It was quiet with just me and my mum for dinner. How about you two. What did you get up too?"

Caroline smiled. "Oh I cooked for what felt like a whole army." She looked at Kate and smiled. "Then we drank too much and watched the same films as last year on the television, didn't we?"

Kate laughed at Caroline. "I beat Lawrence and Angus on the new PlayStation he got for Christmas, which went down like a lead balloon. Then Helena decided she wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

Beverley smiled. "Oh Helena. That's a lovely name. My grandmother was called Helena. You two must be so thrilled?"

Caroline laughed. "We are. Thank you Beverley."

"Are you going out to watch the match? My nephew is playing. I'm just preparing a flask of tea. Would you like me to prepare one for you both?"

Caroline hadn't thought about drinks and the cold weather. She was so pleased Beverley was there. "That would be lovely. Yes thank you. I'm just going to get my wellies out of the cupboard. I don't think I'd last very long in these on the field do you?"

Caroline grabbed her wellingtons and changed out of her heels. She put her shoes in the boot of her car on the way out to the fields. It didn't take long for some of the pupils to realise Miss McKenzie was there. One bright girl called Lucy who was rather fond of Kate came straight over to them both. "Hiya Miss. We've missed you. Have you had the baby?"

Kate smiled. "Yes I have Lucy. We've called her Helena."

Lucy smiled at Kate's words knowing that she and Caroline were together. "That's nice Miss. Where is she?"

Kate explained to Lucy about Helena and left Caroline to go over to see Lawrence outside the changing rooms. "Hi mum. I like your wellies."

Caroline looked down at her bright yellow and blue flowered wellies which were slowly being devoured by thick black mud. "Thanks. I like them too." She looked across to his team mates and shouted. "Good luck boys."

She re-joined Kate on the side lines. Kate had managed to lose Lucy and was talking with Angus' mum Felicity. Beverley joined them a short time later and passed a flask of tea in a bag to Caroline. "Oh Beverley. You're an angel. Thank you. Which one is your nephew? I wasn't aware he was a pupil here."

"Ah well. He's actually on the other team so I may get some funny looks cheering for the opposition!"

Caroline laughed at the thought. "Well. All is fair in love and …. Rugby." She turned back to Kate. "Would you like some tea?" Kate held onto the cup of the flask given to her by Caroline whilst she poured out the steaming tea. "How is Lucy? Still smitten with you?"

Kate laughed. "Oh still a little interrogator. She asked me whether you and I intended to have a Civil Partnership."

Caroline looked shocked. "Really? God, I wouldn't dare to ask. What did you say?"

"I couldn't stop laughing at her sheer forthright approach. I tried to distract her by telling her she should think of a career in journalism but that didn't stop her. I told her we had other things to think about now that Helena had arrived early."

The end of the second half whistle interrupted their talk and the mood on the pitch was high with Sulgrave Heath beating Appleforth 27 to 12. The team gathered in the centre of the field with their coach to talk tactics. Kate said her goodbyes to everyone and then kissed Caroline on the lips in front of the watching crowd. "See you later Caroline. Tell Lawrence we'll be rooting for him."

Caroline blushed putting her head down not daring to look at the gathering spectators. She watched Kate walk off across the field and turned back to the smiles of Beverley and Felicity. Just when Caroline thought she couldn't blush anymore Beverley whispered to her. "You two make a lovely couple."

At that moment Caroline's mobile rang and she saw it was Gavin, The Head of the Board of School Governors. "Hi Gavin. How was your Christmas?"

Caroline chatted with him for a short time and they arranged to meet formaly the following day to discuss Caroline's plans for the new term and the urgent appointment of a Modern Languages Teacher to cover Kate's maternity. Caroline ended the call feeling a little uneasy. Gavin told her news of her and Kate's relationship had reached some of the less liberal members of the board and he needed to speak with her about it.


	28. Chapter 28 - Viewings and Views

Sulgrave Heath wins the Rugby match much to Caroline's delight and competitive nature. Lawrence is over the moon having scored another try and in front of his mum. He showers and changes joining his mum by the main entrance near her car to go to the hospital to see Kate and Helena.

On the journey to the hospital Caroline treasured the time with her youngest son. "Lawrence you were brilliant today. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks mum. It was great having you there to watch. I'm really proud of you too." Lawrence smiles at his mum.

Caroline looks at him questioningly. "You are? Why what I have a done?"

Lawrence told his mum news of Kate kissing her on the pitch reached the dressing room after the match. Some of the other boys in the team told him they thought she was very brave. "They said I should be proud of you for being so open. One lad told me he had two mums and if I wanted to talk anytime about things I could."

Caroline fells tears forming in her eyes but held on. "Lawrence that's lovely." She remained silent for a time taking in the finer details of what he had said. The fact he was proud of her meant so much after all they had been through.

"You know if you want to talk to this, this lad, you can. I don't mind. The school Governors know about Kate and I."

This causes Lawrence to laugh. "Bloody hell mum. You'll be marching in a parade soon."

"Oh I don't think so Lawrence." Caroline smiled to herself. "No, no, no."

The visit to see Helena at the hospital passed really well. Caroline joined Kate in the unit and they spent longer with Helena, holding her again. Helena was responding really well to the drugs and would be moved the following day to the High Dependency ward and out of Intensive Care. This means she would be able to have more visitors and they don't have to get showered every time they want to hold her. Caroline felt relief at the news the Doctors believed she will be well enough to go home by the end of the week.

They all left the hospital on a high and Caroline arranged to drop off Lawrence at Kate's so he could spend the rest of the afternoon washing his kit and ensuring it was clean for his next match. Caroline and Kate return to her house to meet the Estate Agent. They spent some time tidying up small things to make sure the house is well presented for the two viewings. The estate agent arrived and gave them a few details about the two viewings. The first, a Solicitor and a Banker were moving up from London to settle in Harrogate. The Banker had moved to the north on promotion. The second are couple who had a son a Sulgrave Heath and were returning from abroad to settle locally so that their son is supported through his exams. This intrigued them both but the estate agent didn't know the name of the son.

The first viewing goes really well. Barry is a Banker and moving north on promotion. His wife, Barbara is a Solicitor with her own firm which has branches in Leeds, Manchester and York. The couple really like the house and agree to get back to them after they've had chance to talk. They have two sons and are also interested in Sulgrave Heath. Caroline gives them Beverley's number to arrange a visit to the school.

Caroline and Kate grab a few minutes together in the sitting room before the next viewing. Kate's face broke into a huge smile. "That went well didn't it?"

"It seems to have. Yes." Caroline takes Kate in a cuddle. "I can't wait for Helena to come home. I do miss her when we leave after a visit."

Kate tears up not realising how much the separation is affecting her. "I'm sorry Caroline but I can't stop thinking about her. She's changed so much in a few short days and we've missed it. I'm so relieved she's coming home. I just wish we were all living together somewhere." Kate let out a heavy breath and the tension she had been holding in. The viewings have made her realise she just wants to be settled in with Caroline, Helena and Lawrence.

Caroline hugs Kate. "Oh Kate. I know it seems such a huge thing but I'm sure it will all fit into place." Realising Kate's fragile state she decides not to tell Kate about her call with Gavin. She doesn't want to worry Kate about the issue until she knows the full details. Gavin was very brief and didn't answer Caroline's probing questions.

The next couple arrive and Kate and Caroline are surprised to see the couple are two women. The couple recognise Caroline and Kate from the Rugby match earlier in the day. They explained they were watching their son James who played with Lawrence in the school team. Fiona and Julie were in their late 50's and both retired police officers returning from Canada where they had spent the last five years as Consultants to the Canadian Police Force.

After chatting Caroline and Kate allow the two women to wander around the house on their own so they could take their time. Kate and Caroline took the time again to catch up. Kate is upbeat again and distracted by events in front of her. "Wow. It's a small world. What do you think?"

Caroline laughed. "It certainly seems to be. I wonder if James is the one who spoke with Lawrence in the changing room after the game."

Kate looked puzzled and Caroline filled in the details of the boy who had offered Lawrence to come and talk telling him he had two mothers. Kate cuddled Caroline and snuggled into her chest enjoying the scent of her perfume and sweet-scented soap. They were interrupted by Fiona and Julie who return back looking very happy. Fiona spoke first, "We really like it and the annexe will be great for visitors." She turns to Julie looking for confirmation.

Julie nodded, "We need an extra flat somewhere close for when James' dad visits with Steve. Sorry James' dad is a donor and he and Steve are a couple."

Caroline and Kate both smile at the positive views from the two women. Caroline explained that there had been an earlier couple who were also interested but they should contact the Estate Agents. They said their goodbyes and spent the remaining time alone. Kate smiled at Caroline, "That was a positive afternoon. It's looking like you may be on the brink of selling your house."

Caroline smiled. "It does… and that being the case 'we' need to find somewhere to live together, very quickly."

"Oh yeah. I didn't think of that. I guess I was just so caught up in the moment." Kate looked crest fallen.

Caroline gently lifted Kate's chin up and looked into her eyes. "Kate. Come on it is not an impossible job. Leave it to me for now. I'll find us somewhere to rent in the interim. You concentrate on looking after Helena and getting into a routine."

Kate smiled not totally convinced of Caroline's confidence. She felt there was something niggling Caroline but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Caroline, are you okay? You seem a little distracted at the moment?"

Caroline sighed and looked down to where she was holding Kate's hand. This time it was Kate lifting Caroline's chin up so she could look into her eyes. "It's nothing really. I can handle it."

Kate's face changed to defiance. "Spill the beans Elliot or else!"

Caroline felt cornered. "Okay." Caroline took a deep breath. "Gavin rang this morning whilst I was at the match after you had left. It seems the board of Governors have found out about you and I and some of them are less than liberal-minded. I have arranged to go to school tomorrow to see him to talk about it."

Kate looked puzzled. "So what exactly does that mean?"

"I don't know now Kate. I'll find out the details tomorrow."

Kate wasn't happy. "I mean it doesn't affect your work, our work. It doesn't affect the school so what is their issue?"

Caroline felt tired and snapped. "Kate I don't know!"

Caroline realised too soon she had reacted wrongly and saw the hurt in Kate's face. "Kate. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I just feel really tired. Lets close up and go home."

That night the two women were again in bed unable to sleep but it was Kate who checked on Caroline. "Caroline are you asleep?"

"No. I can't stop thinking about houses, hospitals, Helena, John and Gillian, Mother and …"

Kate finished for her. "…. and the Governors?"

Caroline sighed heavily and didn't answer her. The jerking in her chest told Kate she was crying heavy silent tears. Kate snuggled up to Caroline and held her close. She didn't speak, instead preferring to let Caroline talk when she was ready.


	29. Chapter 29 - Governors and Gaul

Caroline and Kate fell asleep and spent the next morning catching up on the rest they needed. Caroline woke first hearing the noises from Lawrence and Grace's cooking in the kitchen.

Caroline slowly removed Kate's arm from across her chest in trying to let her sleep. She watched Kate stir and then turn over. She put on her dressing gown and went down stairs to find Grace singing The Lady is a Tramp and Lawrence cooking sausages.

"Hi mum. Are you hungry?" Caroline smiled at the sight of her son wearing Kate's flowered piny with frilly edges.

"Morning Grace. Did you dress him or is he responsible for his presentation?"

Grace boomed a loud belly laugh. "Oh my word. This young man is such a sweet and beautiful boy. I like his sense of fun Caroline. He makes me laugh so."

Caroline returned to look at her soon with arched eyebrows. Lawrence was smirking broadly at Grace's delight. His charm had worked wonders on Grace and he knew it. He tried a little on his own mother who by now had years of experience to resist. "Want some frills on your sausages mum!"

"Leave the frills thank you. Lawrence, I have to go into work today to speak with The Chair of the Board of Governors. Do you mind being on your own for a couple of hours?"

"Mum. I won't be on my own. Grace and I will be having round two of Super Mario Tournament to the death, where I intend to plot my revenge and whoop her a….!"

Caroline looked at her son with a disapproving face stopping him in his tracks.

"Never mind whooping anyone. Have you cleaned your Rugby kit?"

"All done and dry ready for next week's game."

Caroline looked a little taken aback and the look on her face suggested she wasn't totally convinced. "Ah mum. Come on you must believe me. Grace was there to witness my toil. These budding professional Rugby hands will never recover!"

Caroline looked at Grace who nodded in agreement. "I taught him how to iron and he even did the rest of the clothes. He is a good boy. You should be very proud."

Caroline was speechless. "Right."

She turned around and walked back up the stairs to the bathroom to get a shower. She met a sleepy Kate on the landing. "Morning gorgeous. Why didn't you wake me?"

Caroline kissed Kate and carried on walking past and into the bathroom. "I wanted you to catch up on your rest and I need to go into work and see Gavin."

Kate followed Caroline into the bathroom and watched her undress. Caroline saw the look on Kate's face and felt the heat rising inside. "Kate. I haven't got time for any …. fancy business."

Kate stripped off her dressing gown revealing her naked and beautiful coffee coloured skin. Caroline melted at the glorious sight. Taking in her full body from top to toe Caroline saw the beautiful shapely breasts of her lover. She took Kate into her arms and they walked under the flow of hot, steaming water. Kate placed needing and rough kisses on Caroline's shoulders and neck. She rubbed the pert and swollen nipple on Caroline's breasts eliciting a cry of pleasure from her girlfriend's lips. Caroline's eyes shot open when she felt Kate's lips tasting her breasts. "Kate please. You're going to make me late for my meeting."

Kate responded by tracing her hands down Caroline's back to seek out her hot and needing want. Caroline's legs opened in readiness for her girlfriends dancing fingers and the two women melted into one another.

Half an hour later Caroline was putting the finishing touches to her make up being watched by Kate who was laid out across the bed. "I like watching you get ready. You look so beautiful with your hair up."

Caroline finished putting on her lipstick and looked at Kate in the mirror. "You're just biased."

A few minutes later Caroline was kissing Kate goodbye on the doorstep. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need any luck Caroline. I'm sure Gavin will be supportive. I can't see that there will be any problem. It's just a bunch of out of date busy bodies stuck in the last century."

Caroline sighed heavily. "I wish I had your confidence but I think the bunch of out of date busy bodies can sway the views of those with less courage."

"I'll see you later. Love you." Kate kissed Caroline one last time and waved her girlfriend off down the driveway to her car in the street.

Caroline arrived at Sulgrave Heath to see Gavin's BMW already parked in the drive outside the main entrance. She also noted Beverley's little Fiesta parked in her usual spot. The school was otherwise empty. Pupils weren't due back for a few more days and most of the staff had taken opportunity of the nice weather to miss out on work.

"Morning Caroline. How is Helena doing?" Beverley was busy in her office and had a pot of tea ready on the table for her.

"Morning Beverley. Helena is doing really well. Thank you. We hope to bring her home very soon." Caroline took a breath. "Is Gavin here?"

Beverley mouthed to her whilst pointing into her office. "He's waiting for you. I'll bring the tea in."

Caroline walked into her office greeting the Chair of the Board of Governors with a bright smile that belied her unease at the reason for their chat today. "Morning Gavin. How are you?"

"Morning Caroline. I'm very well thank you. How is Helena doing?"

Caroline was a little taken aback by Gavin's enquiry about her daughter but she covered it with her usual panache. "Helena is doing really well. Thank you. We hope to bring her home in a few days. The doctors are pleased with her progress."

Gavin smiled. "Good. I'm pleased. We had a similar situation when Mark was born. It was really worrying for a couple of weeks. You wouldn't know anything had happened looking at him playing rugby the other day."

Caroline smiled and relaxed at Gavin's attempts to show he knew how she felt and was supportive. "So you asked to meet with me. I assume it's prompted by events at the rugby match."

Gavin smiled again and Caroline took a seat next to him at the conference table in her office. She placed her bag down by the side of her seat.

"Caroline. I wanted to meet with you face to face rather than discuss this on the telephone because I wanted you to see that you and Kate have my genuine support. I think we both have respect for one another and realise that whilst this is an issue it is not something which is going to be a problem for me, you or the school."

Caroline smiled. "Thank you Gavin. Your support means a great deal to me… and Kate. However, we wouldn't be here now if the 'issue' as you call it was nothing to be worrying about. Clearly there are some on the board who are not so supportive."

Gavin laughed. "You're right. There are members who are still living in the wrong era and think that the ethics of the school are still there too. The reason for our meeting today was to discuss how we are going to deal with this. I want us to agree a joint strategy, to show a united front in order to counter the board members who will undoubtedly try to persuade the more affluent, bigoted and influential parents otherwise."

Caroline smiled for a minute before replying. "Gavin, Kate and I are in a relationship in the same way you and your wife are. I do realise that ours isn't conventional but it is very special. I would never ask you to justify your relationship. In the same way I don't intend to make a formal statement, send out a letter or answer to any prejudices the members may have."

Gavin smiled at Caroline's air of authority and defiance. He knew that this would be the reaction Caroline would give. "Caroline. I would never ask you to prove what you and Kate have. This is not about that. This is about ensuring that rumours of things which happen are not blown out of proportion to dishonour the name of the school."

Caroline's anger was firing up now. She was raring to go and Gavin was going to get all four guns.

"Gavin are you seriously asking me to put out some kind of statement every time someone reports they have seen Kate and me holding hands, kissing or god forbid hugging one another? If you are, then I'm going to disappoint you."

Caroline's voice rose dramatically and she was sure Beverley could hear her but she didn't care. She was on a role and she was going to give Gavin a piece of her mind about the prejudices of the world.

"I am extremely proud of what I have with Kate and I have been through too much in the last year to jeopardise that now. Kate and I will continue as we are and if the board members have any issues they can stick them where the sun doesn't shine. I'm a bloody good Head Teacher and I have put my heart and soul into this school. The results are outstanding and we have a waiting list of children wishing to attend here. In fact a number of the children who attend here will almost certainly be gay and I know for a fact that a number of their parents are gay too."

Gavin smiled at Caroline's fearsome determination. Caroline caught his look out of the corner of her eye and started laughing. "You did this on purpose didn't you?"

Gavin nodded in confirmation and smirked.

"You bastard."

Gavin started laughing. "Caroline. I'm sorry but I had to test the water and make sure you would fight and stand up. I'm told you and Kate have travelled to work in separate cars. I didn't know if this was because you were somehow reticent about revealing your relationship."

Caroline blushed. "Well… Yes. To begin with I wasn't really comfortable and I had my own issues to deal with. However, these have been resolved and when Kate returns to work we'll most certainly be travelling together."

Gavin smiled at Caroline. "Good to hear it. Now where is that tea?"

An on queue Beverley knocked on the door and entered the room with a tray. "I've got you some biscuits. Bourbons like to you asked Gavin."

Caroline looked stunned and turned to look at Gavin. She mouthed in a questioning way, "Gavin?"

Gavin blushed. "Thank you Beverley. You are kind."

Beverley stood smiling, staring at Gavin with puppy dog eyes. It became clear the candle she held in her fragile heart was for Gavin and no-one else. Caroline recognise the look as being the same one that Kate had shown her during their first few months of discovering what they had.

Caroline coughed loudly trying to distract her Secretary. "Thank you Beverley."

Beverley immediately blushed realising she had been caught out. "Well… erm….. if that's all then I'll be … erm getting off."

Gavin and Caroline held onto their laughter long enough for Beverley to close her office door. The loud bang broke their release and they burst out laughing hoping that Beverley couldn't hear them.

Caroline smiled at Gavin when they had recovered enough. "You're such a tease."


End file.
